You are in serious danger! He's ONLY "willing to give you another chance" so he can continue to abuse you.

So, YES, ignore his texts and calls!!! TOTAL NO CONTACT is the only way. Block him from your phone, email and social media. Take a self defense class.

Even if they don't do anything, go to the police anyway. File a report. I know the emotional toll is high and you can choose to not testify, but at least file a report. Have it on the record. Be sure to take pictures of what he did to you to remind yourself that he can and will kill you. And document everything that happened.

It doesn't matter what you do, he will do what he's going to do. That's why you have to go No Contact, take good care of yourself and take extreme caution to protect yourself. Take different routes to work or school. If you live alone, reinforce your doors & windows & get heavy duty locks. Tell as many people as you can.

If there are women's DV shelters where you live, go to one and tell them what happened. Ask them to help you make a plan to stay SAFE.

You deserve to live a safe abuse free life. I'm glad you're focusing on yourself & getting counseling and going to a support group. Know that you are not to blame for any one else's actions. But it is important to be able to recognize toxic behavior and to trust your inner knowing.

~healing hugs~

Thanks for your kind response. It does make good sense. I would never engage with him again as a friend or boyfriend but I was fearful about just cutting it off abruptly. Now I see that there is no way to reason with these people to attain any type of closure or convince them to avoid arrest and more trouble. A guy who says he's big enough to give ME another chance after HE threw me against a wall can't be reasoned with. He's delusional.

Police/no police is such a dreadful decision to have placed on you as a victim. I feel I've already suffered enough and giving him the full meal deal through the courts will be fraught with hazards and uncertainties. This time, I chose to date someone I'd been friends with for months and who was a respected member of my church from an apparently solid family. This time I chose the soft-spoken, intellectual, highly-educated, seemingly harmless and shy, adorable nerd. He turned out to be ten times more deadly than my previous abusive partner. I feel that if I send the police to investigate him, they will laugh at the idea of him hurting anyone. I also fear that they won't see me as a victim repeating a pattern of choosing abusive men, but as a freakshow who makes false accusations against different guys in different parts of the country. The process was difficult enough last time and I just don't know if I can do it again.

At least I do know that I will never get myself into this situation again. There were red flags with both men, and lots of them. But after so many years of living off of denial (it was the only way to hold things together), I again chose to believe he was who he said he was on his best days, rather than who he ultimately proved himself to be.

Do whatever you need to do to get him out of your life and be safe.

I'd also go on a year hiatus of men and do some work on yourself.

Hugs.

I'm sorry for what you've
been through.

Now. . . . .

Total NO CONTACT.

FILE a police report!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get a SAFETY PLAN set
up and implement it!
Your nearest women's
resource or aide centre
will help you.

Get counseling from a
QUALIFIED therapist.

Practice Self-Care daily.

Sending you hugs
and prayers for safety,
healing and all good
things going forward.

Didn't read anyting you said, YES YES YES you should ignore his texts sorry gonna go back and read now and then reply again.

Again, TOTAL NO CONTACT, I would call the police, I understand not wanting to because of the consequences maybe you're afraid of what he will do, when he does just get a slap on the wrist. The thing about calling the police, he will see that you mean business. It's hard I know, I didn't call the police on mine, but I could have and he would have been in prison for a very long time, but nobody really knows your situation better than you do, if you feel safe enough to call I would.
Restraining order, and if you have to move, that's what I did, he still can't find me. Be careful cautious and most of all, take care of you. This is a long battle, but you can do it!!!! Stay strong.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. You really do make me feel better. I guess no one else understands like someone who's been there, too. I''m definitely going to take safety precautions as much as possible and will get help with that. I've already moved across the country at the authorities' urging after my last situation, and I lost my job, house, support network and most of my life savings in the process. I feel I can't keep running now and can't afford to lose the work and community that I worked so hard to establish myself in here. I'm still thinking about filing the police report. I have such awful memories of all that process that I never had time to deal with. And now it's happening all over again. I know from experience and have proven to myself that I will come through this and might even find something good on the other side. That's the theory I'm working on anyway....

Wow I don't think going to his parents is going to work on your benefit. I would totally cut contact with the dude. I don't think You should blame yourself for his abuse. Anyone could have made friends with this guy anyone could have been his victum. Now if you choose a relationship with him knowingnhes abusive it's still not your fault for anything he does but it's definitely not wise. Best luck to you. Sorry for your trouble.