violet i am so, so impressed with you.

you feel unsupported, and your spirit is constantly tested and denied. yet, here you are, asking for help, refusing to go down without a fight. you are too young to know what an unbelievably rare and wonderful quality that is, but it is. you feel like screaming and crying, scream and cry. it is underrated, and it feels great, and it will keep you focused.

i am heartbroken for your pain, but you are not without options. keep your eyes on the prize. if you want to be a teacher, study, do great in school, go to college. BE a teacher. plot your goals and focus on them, and it will help you not listen to anyone who says anything unsupportive. your mom can say anything she wants but she can't control you. she knows that, that's why she tries so hard to cut you down and keep you helpless. in a year you will be an adult and if you are smart about it you can walk away and live the greatest life ever no matter what she says.

it would be great if your parents said they loved you and they were proud. it's despicable that anyone with a gift as amazing as a child like you would not be grateful every minute, but hey, people are stupid. but you don't need a boyfriend to tell you he loves you, YOU love you. YOU need to say you love you. YOU have to be the one no matter what, that remembers every day to love yourself. life changes and things get bumpy, that is the only constant that will float you through and you need to work it like a muscle.

again, eyes on the prize. what can you do today that makes your future a little closer to reality, when you can surround yourself with loving supportive people that you choose because you are making an awesome life for yourself? think about it and do it.

you are amazing and your future is bright. i look forward to reading about you in people magazine.

Thank you so much. That means so much to me to hear you say that. I'm so glad I joined this site it's helped me through all of this. My parents just make me sick. They drink every day and have given my baby sister alcohol twice. When I speak up they tell me I'm making a big deal out of nothing. My mom would rather drink to make a headache go away than take an ibuprofen. Last night they were drinking and the smell coming off them made me sick to my stomach. But I kept thinking to myself that soon I'll be out of this abusive house and marry into my boyfriend's loving family. What do you mean reading about me in people's magazine?

As a person who has seen a lot, I would just say don't jump from your house of dysfunction into a marriage. When you're 18, move out, go to college, experience life, find out who YOU are and don't seek definition from others. Define yourself. When you love yourself and are confident, you will know when it's right to share life with someone else.

I am not going to rush into getting married. I just want some way to get out of this house. :( I am trying to be strong for my younger siblings.

i meant when you take over the world and become a huge success and cure a disease or become the next oprah i will happily read your interviews.

yes elope i agree do NOT jump into marriage thinking it will answer all of your problems, it will not. it's wonderful that they are loving, and enjoy the crap out of that. but don't get married until you have accomplished all you want out of like. literally wait like 20 years. PLAN, but they get out and go on with your life, but don't make any decisions out of desperation. that's why i said you have to love yourself, and then anyone else who loves you is gravy. blindly looking for love is a bad basis for any relationship.

stay in school, pay attention, dream and plan. and you will be the greatest role model for your baby sister you can be.

That makes sense. Lol. I am trying to stay as positive as I can. Even though there's so many things against me I'm not giving up w/o a fight.

I agree with vernacular and the others! It's so good that you are so young and are recognising that this is not right! I certainly had issues with my mother and family when I was your age but took most of it on myself. It's great that you have such a good sense of right and wrong at your age and that you are seeking out help! Don't stop! And definitely don't give up your passions or think you should live the life that your mothers thinks you should live! Anyway, I really don't get why she thinks you should be a hygienist over being a teacher?!! It's not like you want to do something so crazy and impractical like being a rock star! And even if you did...it's your life!! It's obvious that your mother has made a lot of poor choices in her life, so don't let her make decisions for you! Keep following your dreams angel!! And keep coming in here! All the best!! xoxoxo

Thx Maryjan. When my mom brings up being a hygienist again I'm going to stand up to her and tell her no. It's my life and I don't want to be a hygienist. I'm going to be a teacher. Saying that could be a huge mistake though. What do you guys think?

you don't need to have any confrontations about anything like that now, so don't bother. you need a college degree and sometimes a masters to be a teacher, thats far off. play your mom any way you have to just don't go be a hygienist just to please her. after high school say you want to go to college, and go. that's what i mean about planning things now, research, see how you can pay for it, see who your allies are.

do you have any cool aunts/uncles/cousins/friends/counselors/teachers who could help you? pick a favorite teacher and ask about how to be one, and ask for help. mentors can make all the difference. you don't have to fight with your mom, just don't listen to her when she's mean or unsupportive.

But that's 95% of the time she's unsupportive. Sometimes I just want to do ANYTHING to hear her say to me great job. I'm so proud of you and love you. But it's not gonna happen and that hurts.

I'm so sorry that your mother isn't loving you and taking care of you and your siblings the way a mother should. I'm sorry she isn't supporting you in your dream to be a teacher. I know it hurts deeply to have the one person you want these things from not be there for you. Sadly this is what alcohol does to people - it takes over their brain and their spirit and turns them into unrecognizable strangers. But that doesn't mean you have to let her steal your dreams.

Start researching now about colleges and scholarships. Ask a trusted teacher to help you. Check w/your local colleges financial aid departments and ask them to get you some information about scholarships. And start applying now thru your school.

I so agree with what vern said about YOU loving yourself. Many of us who are in therapy or have been in therapy have to learn to re-parent ourselves. It sucks that we have to do this because our parents weren't able, but it can be done and we can find .love within. You are so smart and you have a beautiful dream and you DESERVE to have that dream come true. There are lots of resources out there to help you.

Just start looking into things now so you will be ready when you graduate from high school. A lot can change between now and then so as vern said, keep your eyes on the prize and gather information.

Knowledge is power!!!

Your intelligence + knowledge + your determination = an unbeatable combination. You are going to rock this violet! Just take it one step at a time and have faith that you are going places!! Have you ever read Dr. Suess' book Oh The Places You'll Go? It's the perfect book for you!!! In case you can't find it at the library, here is a link to the text: http://denuccio.net/ohplaces.html

Thank you so much for believing in me. I've kind of given up on myself. But I still fight to get through my day.