Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I've been rereading Shakespeare's sonnets and as I hit 127, it was suggested that Shakespeare may have loved a Narc, and in trying to understand the confusion, he wrote these, known as his 'Dark Lady' sonnets. These two in particular stood out to me, numbers 140 and 141.
Be wise as thou art cruel; do not press
My tongue-tied patience with too much disdain;
Lest sorrow lend me words, and words express
The manner of my pity-wanting pain.
If I might teach thee wit, better it were,
Though not to love, yet, love to tell me so;
As testy sick men, when their deaths be near,
No news but health from their physicians know;
For, if I should despair, I should grow mad,
And in my madness might speak ill of thee;
Now this ill-wresting world is grown so bad,
Mad slanderers by mad ears believed be.
That I may not be so, nor thou belied,
Bear thine eyes straight, though thy proud heart go wide.
In faith I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who, in despite of view, is pleased to dote.
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue's tune delighted;
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:
But my five wits nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unswayed the likeness of a man,
Thy proud heart's slave and vassal wretch to be:
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain.
Apparently, she played him off against another suitor although there was some sort of promise between them. He makes some pretty bold accusations about her running around on him, yet sighs that he loves her still, and will take her back if she just pretends to be nice and true.
Be wise as thou art cruel; do not press
My tongue-tied patience with too much disdain;
Lest sorrow lend me words, and words express
The manner of my pity-wanting pain.
If I might teach thee wit, better it were,
Though not to love, yet, love to tell me so;
As testy sick men, when their deaths be near,
No news but health from their physicians know;
For, if I should despair, I should grow mad,
And in my madness might speak ill of thee;
Now this ill-wresting world is grown so bad,
Mad slanderers by mad ears believed be.
That I may not be so, nor thou belied,
Bear thine eyes straight, though thy proud heart go wide.
In faith I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who, in despite of view, is pleased to dote.
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue's tune delighted;
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:
But my five wits nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unswayed the likeness of a man,
Thy proud heart's slave and vassal wretch to be:
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain.
Apparently, she played him off against another suitor although there was some sort of promise between them. He makes some pretty bold accusations about her running around on him, yet sighs that he loves her still, and will take her back if she just pretends to be nice and true.
My dad didn`t ever verbally promise me that he would be a non-abusive, non-mistreating father, for example. But you would think that a person would generally know how not to treat their child. He still abused and mistreated, and it still very much counts that he did that.
Add to that the fact that narcs frequently exploit verbal loopholes to crazymake and attempt to vindicate themselves:
"Well it`s not my fault you assumed X was going to happen." No, of course not! You just gave all the relevant behavioural cues on purpose and now you're trying to get out of it because you`ve tired of the game.
"I never actually SAID I would do that." Ditto the above.