Hi Joaniesle! Thank you for your insight because I have no intentions of ever reading those books. Because I know I would feel the same way you do. Judy

I opted not to read those. I considered it numerous times, even downloaded to Kindle then canceled. I just had a weird vibe on it.
It hits a little to close to home for me to buy into it.
I have a hard time separating things and to me it would cause me too much grief instead of enjoyment.
Interesting topic, thanks!

I haven't read them either. I have no interest in romantic fantasy books especially where the main character is abusive and being portrayed as desireable or even for that matter, normalizing people like him. What is really sad is that there are some women who will read that and will use it as an excuse to continue to remain in an abusive relationship or to remain way too long in one, thinking that they are the problem, or if they are young and inexperienced, they may grow to believe that his character is desireable and will seek someone like him out, rather than weed someone like him out of their life.
I try to stay away from negative influences on tv, movies and in books, and especially the news where the worst of humanity is dished out nightly along with your dinner.
Negativity doesn't help me to feel better so I select things that do.

I would advise anyone who has ever had any sexual abuse not to read it. It is a major trigger in my opinion. I kind of went outside myself in reading it and tried to remain objective, but there were too many similarities. I found it sad that most anyone I talked to "fantasized" about a man treating them this way and skirting them off, taking control over thier lives..etc..etc.
I feel it is a major disservice to any independance gained by women and that even though perhaps the author meant it only as fantasy, she does not know the damage that the book can cause the pysche for anyone that thinks such a man could be a "healthy" influence.
Just my thoughts...

I read all three books as well. I enjoyed them just as a good read, not really thinking into them too much.

However, I can see how it would bother people and be very controversial. I did not like the idea in the book that a woman can completely change a man, and of course I didn't agree with how he treated women.

Good discussion topic!

I read part of the first one and stopped for two reasons, the first being the whole 'abuse made sexy' idea and the way everyone went on about it really irritated me. He might change in later books, but in the first he was just abusive and creepy. The second reason was, they were just so boring!

I really like to read, but I have avoided this series like the plague. I find that I'm really not up for anything that may trigger me these days. I change radio stations often, try to stick to the Disney channel and read stuff by John Grisham. Nothing romantic, nothing that might have abusive undertones....and definitely nothing like those books. I think it's a shame that people feel the need to romanticize abuse and control. When I was a teenager I craved that sort of drama. But now that I'm a grown up; give me a good book that depicts a strong female character overcoming adversity and a bag of popcorn (and keep the Christian Greys away from me please. :)

I have to agree with Runningwild; he was VERY creepy in the beginning. Even I, with my skewered attraction to "bad boys", would have run for the hills....after that, the book was just boring.

I think the younger women are attracted to the whole sweet virgin thing...a typical fantasy, because they haven't learned to own their sexuality yet.
The book could be a huge trigger for those who have been abused but a turn on for those youngsters who are too naive to believe they ever could be abused.
I will never give my power away again.

I find it disgusting that so many women are reading these books about a controlling man and loving it because he is rich and handsome. Abuse is abuse and there is nothing exciting or erotic about that to me.

I also felt this way about the Twilight series. Basically, the girl was involved with a vampire boy who had anger control issues and he was also very controlling of her.

I think these books in popular culture make abuse sound appealing, and to me that is disgusting. I don't care about the sexual content, I am not a prude. But when the message is "abuse is a turn on" I am totally turned off.

And thank you for starting this thread...I have had this thought many times.

I read the first book. Not only didn't I like the theme I felt it was poorly written.

I just couldn't believe that someone would let another person be so controlling. Whether it was because she was young or he had a troubled past. I didn't like it.

It also triggered something in me. I had been in a controlling marriage, but I never truly realized it - or admitted it is a better word. So when she started falling for all his manipulation I wanted to scream at her to run.

I have to wonder if our media is contributing to abuse in a way? It is almost as if they "reward" bad behavior. Again, if Christian was a typical blue collar man, I wonder if the same behavior would be excusable? Seriously, the man controlled her internet corrospondance, her workplace, her family interactions, her social interactions, who she was allowed to be friends with, any undesirable or hurtful things were made ok with "presents" , and basically he "bought" her love and loyalty. My opinion anyway.

I read the books and suggested to a friend who had been abused NOT to read them... first of all, they are kind of crappy :) but also there are a lot of things that would make someone who has been sexually or physically abused very uncomfortable.

the man is controlling and the woman throwshalf hearted hissy fits about it as if that is supposed to pass for some kind of feminist gesture... but still lets him control her, she's the kind of "tough" girl who will slap her man when mad, but then immediately have sex with him. their relationship IS VERY unhealthy, they solve every single insecurity and problem by having sex, she agrees to do things she doesn't want to do. Then tries to "understand" his troubled soul and "fix" him... which are the two main ingredients to every abusive relationship EVER.... and they make it out to be a great LOVE story... way to confuse people!!!

you know the series is taken from fan fiction base don the Twilight series... they take everthing I hated about Twilight and went to extremes with it. If I had children old enough to read the Twilight book, I wouldn't want them to unless we had some big time talks concerning what they were reading. not because of vampires... but because they pass of a controlling obsessive relationship as "love" this girl literally gives up her life for a man who is cold and has no beating heart. he is condescending calls her an "angry kitten" when she is rightfully angry at him, he disconnects her car battery to keep her form her friends and a relationshipw ith him means abandoning her familya nd friends and devoting the rest of eternity to only HIM. WOW... what kind of example is that for our children?

sorry off topic... I have some thoughts on these books obviously LOL

HI, I just happened to come across this post. I was never abused. My opinion on 50 shades - don't waste your time. It's more talk then action and any of the action that happens (not until chapter 8 of book one) is to predictable.
He was be depicted as a Dominant who is loaded, but for those who read it, didn't you find it unrealistic on how fast an inexperienced girl learned what she liked and what to do..

IMO, if the writer didn't have an extremely aggressive marketing team, those books would still be sitting on shelves, or in bargain basements collecting dust.

PS: I can't get past chapter 2 of the second book - I kept falling asleep..finally moved on to another book.

I have not read the books. I know that the BD/SM fetish community thinks they are absolutely awful both in terms of the writing and the way their alternative lifestyle is portrayed. I won't go out of my way to look for the books but probably will read them if the opportunity presents just because so many people are talking about it.