Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Loved1 08/27/2008

I understand why I beat myself up and doubt myself - all these abusive messages my past going as far back as I am, telling me I deserve the abuse I've received.

deleted_user 08/27/2008

I think that most of us get caught up in that pattern of thinking and become our own abusers.

deleted_user 08/27/2008

If you look at the main page for the abuse board, Julie has posted a couple of articles that relate to this. One is titled "Affirmations, affirmations, affirmations" and is an excellent article about retraining your self-image. Her latest article "If at first you don't succeed" also touches on this.

I know that hearing affirmations from a complete stranger does not carry the same weight as a barb by someone who (supposedly) knows you intimately, but sometimes that is all we have to hang on to. You are a beautiful and worthwhile human being, and nobody can take that away from you.

I have done several of the affirmation exercises Julie talks about, including posting "You look gorgeous this morning" on my bathroom mirror. Maybe you have to see me in the morning to truly understand, but the result of this is either a nice boost or a deep belly laugh to start the day. Either one is positive.

Like Julie says in her article, change to ones self-image takes time and perserverance. It possibly took years to tear you down to the point you are today. It's not going to reverse itself overnight, so you HAVE to keep plugging away at it.

Autumnal 08/27/2008

I am exactly the same Loved1. I always believed all of my abuse, the negative things as I thought something was wrong with me...then dealing with the pain of it is hard also.

Loved1 08/28/2008

I never realized there was a main speaker on the main page of the group. I have never realized it was there it before. What a good thing I've been missing out on, and a great idea. Thank you very much.

deleted_user 08/28/2008

*hugs* No one deserves abuse, sweetie.

I agree with Revpatty. Affirmations can be an amazing tool for your self-esteem.

I also reccomend the book Self Esteem by Mckay and Fanning.

One of the things they talk about is how we all have inner critic. We aren't born with one but we develop one from the negative messages we receive from others.

The good news is that we can choose to stop listening to this critical voice inside us and replace the negative messages with positive self-talk.

I wish you healing and peace on your journey of recovery. May you discover how wonderful you are and silence your inner critic.

*hugs*

deleted_user 08/28/2008

Yeah I do the same. Sad thing is that it still happens to me. If not daily, then weekly!

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