Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been out of my abusive relationship now for almost 3 yrs now. I am now in school for nursing and I have meet this guy that seems pretty amazing we are suppose to be moving into together this summer but honestly I am scared that things are going to change. any advice? is this normal?
clearbreakofday
It sounds normal to me. But the time doesn't seem like an issue cuz it really just falls to if you don't feel ready than you should trust your gut. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with turning down a guy esp if it's to make sure you are really over and have dealt with your past of being abused. Take care. Hugs
tink22
thnx for your advice!! I am probably just stepping back. it's the best relationship I have ever had we are always laughing. I just feel damaged sometimes..
clearbreakofday
You need to work on that then, Tink. Dont expect your partner to save you. Relationships aren't there to make you feel better about yourself. You should already feel good and def not damaged. Talk to a counselor first and take things slow. I'm telling you it's for the best. I always say you shouldn't jump out of one mess to jump right into another and you know these abusive guys NEVER start off abusive. Stay on the forum ask for more advice and learn some more. You won;t regret it. And if this guy is amzing like you say he is he will give you time and not pressure you or make you feel like you need him. Trust me on this one
deleted_user
I can relate to how you feel here. I am seeing a man that is very nice and seems like he is not at all like what I had. He however, thinks that he can make my past go away because he will be better to me. I don't think so. I have a great deal of healing to do. I plan to see him, but I have no intentions of moving in with anyone for a very long time. It's just my opinion. You have to make up your own mind on what feels right or not. Sometimes you really don't know a person until you live with them or at least spend a great deal of time with them. Their true colors will eventually brighten. Good luck and your fear is completely ligitimate I think.
tink22
I really appreciate all your advice but I am at a loss at where you guys came up with the fact that I was trying to jump into another relationship. I have been divorced for 2 yrs now and have done a lot of healing on my own and through counseling. I know he isnt there to save me and I dont want him to save me. It's up to me to heal on my own and he is there supporting and encouraging me when I am healing on my own. He does understand his ex wife was abusive to him, its kinda a bond we have and are able to understand each other better for it. I think I got scared because of the fact that I thought I knew my ex and he was nothing like I thought he was it just kinda plays with your trust. let us be honest when you are in a marriage with abuse its not really a marriage or thats how I saw it. I am at a loss for how a real relationship is suppose to be like. I do know I am happy with him and enjoy my time on my own also. I just think I have more healing to do. but we are not moving into together for another 7 months so I have time!!
deleted_user
One thing I have learned over and over is to "trust your instincts and follow your intuition" If you do this, the choice is usually the right one.
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