Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi All:
I just typed my story out and it disappeared. I will just type some (sketchy) and come back. I'm all alone, have been for almost 2 years and I'm disabled., and seriously ill. (He interferred with medical care and it fell on me) He was stealing my pain meds, he started taking drugs 16 yrs into the relationship and had no drug background. It destroyed me. I am out of the relationship but have nobody and no help. Pls, no benefit advice there is no help available here. I am isolated and want to talk about what to do, what happened and why I am now the prisoner? I need hope and help to move pon.
Thank you for just letting me pop in since the post is gone. I think I'm losing my mind as i have not left the apt in yrs and have nobody to talk to.
i cant survive poor either, ( I am) and all alone. I need a break, drama for 5 yrs and I cant deal w/ more. It wont stop either. One cannot do this as it is but I did it very sick. He ruined every area of my life. It was a 20 yr relationship and he was my whole family, best friend and care giver. Just a short thing: he went nuts, or whatever. I lost all care now. He was violent and the verbal stuff was worse. 16 yrs of a relationship w/ someone I loved dearly and bam he changed.. He came from an abusive childhood and I guess it came back, and on me. He promised to support me forever and lost all I own, I have nothing left or anything at all. I am alone, isolated and cant even get outside. I just need to be here to talk, and see if there is anyway I can move forward. I also want to know WHY. Why did this man I love and who took care of me, promised to forever left me in an apt without anything, and betrayed me ? I'm so scared and have nobody to talk to.
He lost all I owned too. I am shattered and I think I fell apart. I dont know anything anymore but my life was not like this. It is over now.
Much care
Stubbykat
I just typed my story out and it disappeared. I will just type some (sketchy) and come back. I'm all alone, have been for almost 2 years and I'm disabled., and seriously ill. (He interferred with medical care and it fell on me) He was stealing my pain meds, he started taking drugs 16 yrs into the relationship and had no drug background. It destroyed me. I am out of the relationship but have nobody and no help. Pls, no benefit advice there is no help available here. I am isolated and want to talk about what to do, what happened and why I am now the prisoner? I need hope and help to move pon.
Thank you for just letting me pop in since the post is gone. I think I'm losing my mind as i have not left the apt in yrs and have nobody to talk to.
i cant survive poor either, ( I am) and all alone. I need a break, drama for 5 yrs and I cant deal w/ more. It wont stop either. One cannot do this as it is but I did it very sick. He ruined every area of my life. It was a 20 yr relationship and he was my whole family, best friend and care giver. Just a short thing: he went nuts, or whatever. I lost all care now. He was violent and the verbal stuff was worse. 16 yrs of a relationship w/ someone I loved dearly and bam he changed.. He came from an abusive childhood and I guess it came back, and on me. He promised to support me forever and lost all I own, I have nothing left or anything at all. I am alone, isolated and cant even get outside. I just need to be here to talk, and see if there is anyway I can move forward. I also want to know WHY. Why did this man I love and who took care of me, promised to forever left me in an apt without anything, and betrayed me ? I'm so scared and have nobody to talk to.
He lost all I owned too. I am shattered and I think I fell apart. I dont know anything anymore but my life was not like this. It is over now.
Much care
Stubbykat
Thanks for letting me talk. I would like to know how one goes about getting to make some friends to talk
Thanks
I feel ashamed about what went on in my life. It was very intense and scary for so long . I'm overwhelmed by it all.
so much pain.
You say that there
is no help for you
where you are.
Support can be difficult
to access but in most
first world countries,
there is help available.
Are you somewhere so
remote that you can't
get out and no one
can get in? Obviously,
you're able to access
the internet. Maybe
you're not so inaccessible
as to be totally without
resources.
Also, are you suicidal?
You don't need to feel
ashamed about what
went on in your life.
You were victimized.
The shame is the
abuser's, not yours.
If you're comfortable,
private message me
about where you are
and maybe I can help
research what's available
to support you, going forward.
Take good care.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
strength and
clarity.
that's why we come here. we come to comfort one another, to uplift and support each other - to be kind - being kind is the main reason we are here xo
I can see you are in a lot of pain and feeling trapped and I'm so sorry for that. But you came here and found this support group-you are reaching out for help so somewhere in your heart you must believe that your life is not over, and that there are decent, caring people out there who want to help-and we do. It may be helpful to remember that impulse to connect with other people, to have someone understand your story, and wanting things to be better is there inside you-along with a lot of strengths you might not recognize right now that have been in you all along.
I know how important it feels to understand the "why", and although I think its good in many ways to go there (so you can learn it's NOT YOUR FAULT) you can drive yourself crazy with the why-because in the end it doesn't matter and you can spend too much energy into sorting out the WHY instead of healing yourself. So just a cautionary tale-I would watch that I didn't spend too much time pondering why.
But....if you want my opinion on why I can give you my thoughts. Abusers terrorize their victims because they are addicted to the power and control it affords them. I know it sounds like a horrible way to describe someone you've loved, but that is what I believe. This is also why they are unlikely to change.
I think there may be different paths to becoming an abuser, whether through drugs, societal messages about what's okay in relationships, mental illness like a personality disorder, a history of childhood abuse-lots of ways to get there. But in the end this pattern of enjoying having power over other people more than respecting their basic human rights to feel physically and emotionally safe is common to every abuser.
There are many ways to become a victim of an abuser as well. Some abusers look for vulnerable people, kind hearted, trusting types, those with poor self worth, or soft boundaries, those who have a background of abuse. Sometimes abusers enjoy taking a person who is on top of the world, and has everything together and the challenge of breaking them down and controlling them.
Why did your man change? Only you can untangle that. I wonder if he experienced some level or type of compassion fatigue,or caregiver burnout. It could also be that you may have missed subtle forms of abuse for years, and once you become more debilitated with your illness the more control he could assert because the more vulnerable you were.
Here is some information on caregiver burnout if you are curious:
http://www.webmd.com/women/caregiver-recognizing-burnout
No matter what happened, being abused has nothing to do with you. It is not your fault-and nothing you could have done can justify it. Please consider Ilene's advice to get help, even though it may seem impossible. You deserve better than to be abused. It needs to stop.