My ex, like many abusers, spent years during our marriage and after our separation sending me cruel or ranting emails where he would accuse me of random untrue things, tell me what a terrible person I was, or just generally rant and rave. Those emails used to upset me so much I couldn't hit delete fast enough. There was a time when he was so bad I was afraid to even open my work email account because I knew what would be waiting for me there, and seeing them made me feel sick. I just wanted that filth gone, and I deleted everything.

Can you relate? Well if you are experiencing this, wait! - I have a better suggestion!

I can't remember where I heard it, but about a year ago someone told me to create a folder in my email and label it something like "Jerk" or "Idiot." Then when he sends an email, scan it and see if there are is any false information that needs to be corrected or dealt with. If not, dump it right into the Jerk folder. The one on my computer is labelled "A-hole" :) It *feels* as satisfying as deleting them, and you never have to see them again, but they are tucked away and saved as evidence.

Now that I am going through this contentious divorce, and he is claiming over and over that I am a compulsive liar and he never abused me and never said a mean word in his life, I at least have a few of his own emails from the past year to back me up. I WISH I had the older ones, but I deleted so many.

Save yourself the heartache I am going through. Even if you aren't sure how things with your partner will end up, you can always delete them later. Better to have them on hand in case you need them.