Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My son who was arrested last week had court. They didn't actually bring him there. Just the DA and Attorney. I sat for four hours listening to cases one after the other. There had to be at least 10 cases of abuse. (all men...sorry to say) Two of these cases had me almost in tears.
One guy punched his girlfriend in the face...knocked her down and kicked her til he broke her ribs.
The other guy tormented and beat his wife and three children...an ex gf and his sister. All protective orders. The judge asks him what he intended to do to change. His response was....they were all lying. She said to the court room that abuse keeps escalating if you don't get away. And he is the perfect example of that. This guy only got 60 days in jail. 60 days!!! And this was the longest sentence handed out today. These families will suffer a lifetime....and he gets 60 days....and we know he will never be rehabilitated. He will move onto the next and the next. He had protective orders dated since 2006.
I almost feel lucky to have thrown him out after the first sign of physical abuse. And I almost minimize what I was dealing with after hearing these cases today.
What is happening to our world? This is insanity
One guy punched his girlfriend in the face...knocked her down and kicked her til he broke her ribs.
The other guy tormented and beat his wife and three children...an ex gf and his sister. All protective orders. The judge asks him what he intended to do to change. His response was....they were all lying. She said to the court room that abuse keeps escalating if you don't get away. And he is the perfect example of that. This guy only got 60 days in jail. 60 days!!! And this was the longest sentence handed out today. These families will suffer a lifetime....and he gets 60 days....and we know he will never be rehabilitated. He will move onto the next and the next. He had protective orders dated since 2006.
I almost feel lucky to have thrown him out after the first sign of physical abuse. And I almost minimize what I was dealing with after hearing these cases today.
What is happening to our world? This is insanity
We really need to have a better educated society as a whole, especially the entire justice system, from judges to police to attorneys, to lawmakers and everyone in between) as well as better trained mental health professionals. AND, IMHO, everyone who works for the system needs periodic mental health evaluations to insure they are actually fit for their jobs.
Until that and more happens, we cannot give up. We are our own best advocates. We must TRUST our own inner knowing over and above anyone else! That means we will have to be the squeaky wheel until we find the right attorney, the right support system(s) and the right therapist.
We will also have to document the abuse in every way we can as well as do what is necessary to protect ourselves. That usually means getting out and going total No Contact.
Here's a link to a very very sad story. Looks like both parents failed their children and then the *(#$&%(*#%# FEMALE judge hammered the last nail in their coffins.
http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2015/07/09/judge-sends-kids-to-detention-center-for-refusing-to-have-lunch-with-dad-compares-siblings-to-charlie-manson-cult/
I cannot believe what people do to their own children. It's horrific
But, I'm sure he is not enjoying himself in jail and hopefully that is enough...Did they talk about your sons case? Will your son have to do community service? Anger management?
Or was the purpose of the Attorney to have him get lesser charges?
I commend you for pressing charges FOR your son...and for yourself.
What you did was a very hard thing to do....I once called on my son...but my son has an explosive disorder so I asked the officers to kindly take him to the hospital vs. jail and they did. But, I DID call knowing they could potentially just take him to jail. So I know how hard it is.
It's hard. Prob the most difficult thing next to losing him. His attorney said she realizes my frustration. Seriously? You think I'm frustrated. Well I'm not frustrated...I'm scared. Scared he will die of a drug overdose.
So they tell me he's going to get a 28 day program and nothing else. Sorry but not happening. He tells me I am trying to ruin his life. I say...one day you just might thank me for saving it
So I sat in court today and insisted the judge hears me. I deserve to be heard. I'm the victim. I'm his mother. I'm tired of being someone's punching bag emotionally and physically. I sat for hours waiting. The judge saw me and agreed to hear me. I cried. After all I am his mom. You can't just disconnect from your kid. I pleaded my case. Yes it was hard. But burying my son to a heroin OD would be much harder. Letting him abuse his future gf or wife will be harder. So I sucked it up and did it.
He will do jail time. And not 60 days. He will do long term rehab. 6 months for throwing coffee at me. I am not the woman who will let someone do 60 days. I deserve better. He deserves to know the woman who raised him finds this unacceptable.
Maybe today I saved my son. I don't know. But maybe today I took a stand in that courtroom to save myself. I've been abused long enough. I've been a great mom. It doesn't stop because they become adults. It stops when we stop accepting it. Even when it's gut wrenching hard