Sorry, this is going to be kind of long because I need to give some background just to get an opinion on whether I am being paranoid or whether this is really possible and what do I do?
Ever since my h and I got together cars have been an issue. He does body work and painting on the side (that was his primary job when we first got together) and builds race cars and other "project" cars. When our oldest was born, my uncle gave me a Mustang. This car admittedly had issues, but it was a car. He decided he didn't want me and his child driving around in it (the transmission leaked and there were some issues with the lights) so he negotiated a deal with his mother for me to buy her old car for $1800 and he was going to "take the Mustang off my hands" (oh why didn't I think about how messed up that situation was). Turns out he never gave his mother the money I gave him for the car, and he thought because he had negotiated the deal (he actually told me it was $3600--he paid half--liar!) he would take it whenever he felt like it and would leave me and the kids with no vehicle at will. He ran from the police in my Mustang (with my tags on it), told me the tags got returned, two years later I get a bill from the MVA for $5860. They were never returned and now, before I can get tags I have to pay the fines. He refused to help because he said I should have made up a bill of sale or something to get out of the fines.
Even before this, when we first got together (before my Mustang) I gave him $1200 from my tax money for a car. He claimed the boy he bought the car from was going to let me keep the tags and insurance in his name until I could get enough money to get my own. (Gee, I was an idiot!) I got pulled over about three weeks after taking possession of the car, turns out it was stolen from the shop they worked at, the tags were stolen from another vehicle. I never got another car from him, nor did I get my money back--that's why my uncle gave me his old car.
He ended up taking away the car I had bought from his mom, claiming he found a better one for me. This car constantly had issues and he would now only allow me to drive it when and where he said I could because this one was HIS car. When I would bring up about the money I had spent thus far on vehicles from him, he would get enraged and claim I didn't appreciate how he was trying to help me out. I would let it go. When our youngest was born and we moved in together and I realized how violent he could be, I decided I was going to leave. My dad bought me a car. I left with the kids, ended up coming back due to threats from him about charging me with kidnapping the girls. My sisters had ended up driving the car before I got it and run into a curb pretty hard--hard enough to pop both tires on the passenger side. As a result, the car pulled really bad to the right, especially in the rain. He took it one day to "fix it", came back with another car telling me that it couldn't be fixed so he bought me another. You can guess what happened next--I was only allowed to drive when and where he said I could, you got it.
Over the years I have had one piece of crap after another that he buys for me. The rules are always the same--the cars are always in my name, but they are his and he makes it clear. This last vehicle finally died last Sept. He "let" me drive his big work van to work and back; I had a hard time driving it, but he wouldn't let me drive his car because he didn't want me to "tear it up like I did everything else I touched". Finally, by the grace of God, my son's father paid a lump sum of c.s.--he hadn't paid in over two years. With that money, I went to a "buy here, pay here" dealership (I don't have many options, because he has destroyed my credit). I bought a nicer car with only 100.000 miles on it. I probably paid too much--total price was $10,000, and I have to make payments for the next two years, but to me it was well worth it! It was mine and it ran great.
From the beginning he has complained about what a piece of shit I bought, that women should not be allowed to buy cars without a man with them, that they ripped me off because they saw me coming. However, he would come home late and just take my car. After I had it about two weeks, it started running really badly. Hesitating when you take off, etc. I took it back to the dealership and they could find nothing wrong with it. He kept laughing about how now I was going to be stuck with a piece of shit I was making payments on.
Last week, it was running really badly. I checked the oil and it didn't look like there was any oil on the stick. Just to be sure I wasn't reading it wrong, I had my coworkers' husband check behind me. Sure enough it was completely empty. I got the whole lecture about how bad that was, we put 3 quarts of oil in it, he checked it again after adding the oil. It was not to the high mark on the stick, but it was right in the region that was best. I mentioned to my h and said I was going to take it to get the oil changed this week. He says to me "why bother, if it was empty you just pretty much changed it, you would just be wasting money." The car was running so much better at this point, but I still ignored his remarks and scheduled to have my oil changed (without telling him). It started running really badly again this week (last week--I think I'm a week off on this story). Anyway, yesterday I took it to get the oil changed. The mechanic says to me that I have overfilled my oil--it is so high it is off the stick (all the way to the top) and that this is just as bad for the car as having too little. I am telling you, the oil was empty, we added 3 quarts and checked it again--both myself and a man (just in case I was reading it wrong). How could it go from having no oil to being overfull--unless HE is doing stuff to my car?
Am I being paranoid, or could we both have been wrong two weeks ago when we checked it and added oil? Of course I mentioned it to him and got sneered at; there is nothing wrong with my car, it is the operator and I must have been wrong when we added the oil the first time. Then he is pissed off because he told me not to have the oil changed in the first place, I just wasted $25.