Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Well I relapsed again... I wonder what is wrong with me... he doesn't leave me alone even if months go by or more... and here i am again feeling the same thing, abandoned by him... Its the same old story. I know I probably don't know many here now because I have been gone a while in my relapse. I doubt my own ability to stop the cycle. I pray to God I can stop it once and for all but I am not certain. I think I have stockholm syndrome and for some reason I am attached to my abuser because he works on me and works on me til I go back and regret it all again eventually. Then he acts like the victim and I am the problem. I know I am the problem because I took him back. I have more validation in my feelings because I took on two roommates almost a year ago and they have seen it all now and they even say he controls you. I guess thats why I stop coming on here, going to church, seeing my friends, everything is because I give in (for some crazy reason) and go back to it again. He actually makes me feel sorry for him after time goes by and he stalks me and relentlessly pursues me. I think its his game. I am his pawn. I know only I can stop it from happening. Honestly I am always looking behind me when he leaves because he doesn't really leave he spys on me and watches me until he convinces me he loves me again and I go back again.
I have to stop myself from giving advice because obviously I can't take my own advice. I lost all trust in myself. I am at an all time low. I even contemplate driving by his ex's house to see if that is where he is.
I have to stop myself from giving advice because obviously I can't take my own advice. I lost all trust in myself. I am at an all time low. I even contemplate driving by his ex's house to see if that is where he is.
It really sounds like he harasses you and it's tiring for you, like mentally exhausting radrum. I'm so sorry that you are feeling low right now. But I know that you have been strong in the past. And I hope that you know you are a great person who deserves to be treated with respect.
I think perhaps, for me some reasons I kept going back to him despite the abuse were, low self esteem (that is hard to say), out of habit, and no significant social networks like family/friends outside of him. Pretty sad. But I am trying. And that is all that we can do, at our own pace.
P.s. I've missed u.
They r like an addiction. But on truth, I'm finding now, that doing even little things feel better than the "adoration" I get fr him when he approves of how I look and act.
I still sometimes miss him, it passes quickly when I think about y I'm gone. U can start fresh again, so don't be hard on yourself my friend.
The reason I am upset this time and why he left me again is because last night we were watching a movie and 20 minutes into it someone knocked on my bedroom door and said his son was here. I have 2 roommates now because he kept leaving and my son and I need the help. Anyhow his son had come and i put the movie on pause and he never came back to watch it with me. So I was fine i got up to get my phone and call my friend and I heard his son sobbing on my porch when I walked by. So then 2 hours later he comes back and I asked him "What happened?" He said nothing and I got mad. I said if it was nothing why did you ditch me? He says he didn't. Then it turned into an all out fight. Then he left.