Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
There is a dire need for reforms to be made to how domestic abuse shelters, services and help lines are operated and managed in the US.
The way things are currently most shelters and help lines in the US (despite being funded by tax dollars) either refuse to provide assistance to male victims of domestic abuse/violence or will only provide them the contact information for a batterer's program (programs for men arrested for domestic violence, to teach them how to stop being abusive). Often times the shelters and help lines will even ridicule male victims who contact them for help, telling them things like how they must have done something to deserve the abuse or must be the actual abuser trying to blame their female victim.
Here is a link to an article about the research that has been done and found this out: https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/3977-researcher-what-hap-3977
On top of that male victims of domestic violence face the risk of being arrested if they end up having to call the police for help. This is because the VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) encourages law enforcement agencies to enact mandatory arrest policies regarding calls about domestic violence. That probably doesn't sound like something that would hurt the victim, except that it also encourages "predominant aggressor" policies where the police must act under the assumption that the male is always the aggressor simply by virtue of being male.
This occurs despite the fact that studies have actually shown that in domestic relationships females are on average slightly more likely than males (by a few percent) to be the aggressor in domestic violence situations.
Here is a link to a research article about this: http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
I also strongly recommend reading at least a bit about Erin Pizzey for some very good information about this matter. She opened one of the first modern shelters for abused women and their children and was one of the first people to discover and try to bring attention to the fact that men and women abuse each-other at roughly equal rates, and that women are often just as violent (if not more so) as men in domestic violence situations.
How are male victims of domestic abuse/violence supposed to get help when the places that provide that help just vilify/riducule them and even the government is acting against them?
The way things are currently most shelters and help lines in the US (despite being funded by tax dollars) either refuse to provide assistance to male victims of domestic abuse/violence or will only provide them the contact information for a batterer's program (programs for men arrested for domestic violence, to teach them how to stop being abusive). Often times the shelters and help lines will even ridicule male victims who contact them for help, telling them things like how they must have done something to deserve the abuse or must be the actual abuser trying to blame their female victim.
Here is a link to an article about the research that has been done and found this out: https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/3977-researcher-what-hap-3977
On top of that male victims of domestic violence face the risk of being arrested if they end up having to call the police for help. This is because the VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) encourages law enforcement agencies to enact mandatory arrest policies regarding calls about domestic violence. That probably doesn't sound like something that would hurt the victim, except that it also encourages "predominant aggressor" policies where the police must act under the assumption that the male is always the aggressor simply by virtue of being male.
This occurs despite the fact that studies have actually shown that in domestic relationships females are on average slightly more likely than males (by a few percent) to be the aggressor in domestic violence situations.
Here is a link to a research article about this: http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
I also strongly recommend reading at least a bit about Erin Pizzey for some very good information about this matter. She opened one of the first modern shelters for abused women and their children and was one of the first people to discover and try to bring attention to the fact that men and women abuse each-other at roughly equal rates, and that women are often just as violent (if not more so) as men in domestic violence situations.
How are male victims of domestic abuse/violence supposed to get help when the places that provide that help just vilify/riducule them and even the government is acting against them?
I will research this further. I don't have any answers for this.
Just look at all the movies/sitcoms/etc that portray domestic situations where the woman physically or emotionally abuses the man as being funny. Or even portrays the abuse/violence as somehow justified even when the man did nothing wrong.
I have a friend, who is in dire, dire situation, because of an emotionally abusive wife. I sent him a link or two, and he will not do anything, will not talk about it, will just clam up and is probably very ashamed. It breaks my heart...
A different friend of mine who is going through similar things (i work mostly with guys) told me once that it made him cry when I sent him some material on emotional abuse. He has been enduring it for years, with nobody to talk to! Yes, society is very unsympathetic towards a guy who claims to be in an abusive relationship, yet it is very common.
When it is hammered into them their whole life by society that it is shameful for men to be the victim of abuse by a woman, and that it makes them weak or undesirable it creates a very powerful stigma against seeking help.
It's hard and painful to open up and seek help if doing so seems likely to draw in even more abuse (from more people) than it would to draw in help from others.