Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
It's been a month since I left. I agreed to talk with him once or twice a week on the phone to discuss bills etc, however, he always ends up begging for another chance and saying he gets it now and he will change. The sad thing is,he really believes he can. I know that it doesn't work that way and if I went back there would be a honeymoon phase and then I would be right back where I started. I feel like my emotions are all over the place. I moved 1800 miles away and get homesick often even though I'm with family. Job hunting is much harder than I anticipated and I just feel so out of sorts. Really depressed today. When does it get easier?
Big hugs to you hon...it gets better but you have to work at it.
I have been where you are. it gets easier when you are able to break all contact and, by that i mean when he is unable to contact you in any way. it also gets easier when you are able to accept either that he will not and cannot change, or, that even if you think he can or could, you are too hurt to be able to try.
It gets easier wen you forgive yourself for leaving and for putting yourself first.
When you laugh about something and don't think of him for a few seconds.
When you have people to talk to who u can just tell your feelings too for that moment and they don't judge you. here is great for that.
When you realise that, however awful the feelings, however long the journey, you are better off on your own than with someone who caused such pain and misery. when you realise that a life where things are quite normal, is better than one where there are amazing highs and incredibly awfful lows and that you can't even predict when one would end and the other start. stability, predictability, control, power, they are all things that you will inch by inch regain as you move away physically and emotionally. and with those gains, it will get easier.
i'm sending you love and hugs and peace. if you are really really depressed, i found these things helped:
sleeping. i would wake up crying but sleep can sometimes help as you wake up just, numb.
eating. i found that eating something i liked gave me some kind of happiness. doesn't have to be eating, just, doing something good to yourself.
music, listening to a song that expresses your feelings.
crying, letting it all out can sometimes be the only way.
talking, writing, getting rid of that oh so horrible powerful feeling.
being around people at night.
not being alone too much.
and trying to avoid listening to anything to do with him and anything from him.
x.