If you can find another therapist which is NOT private pay, it may be beneficial to start fresh. Personally, I would report your " friend " regardless of therapist choice. What she is doing is extremely unethical, hurting others too no doubt and I feel certain the agency she works for would want to know. The agency should be able to keep your report confidential. ALL private info is to be confidential. Who/ what is this " friend " that she makes DX ? That's a serious transgression - even if she's a Dr. - she's not YOUR Dr. Honestly, I think she should be removed from her position

((((((HUGS)))))). Does your job have an Employees Benefits Assistance program? If so you should be eligible for free sessions.

Yes, Hon.

Please try to connect
with an appropriate
source of therapy
again.

I totally get and agree
with you about why you
ended with that therapist.

But please do try again.

i agree about having the strength to talk to a therapist about these issues. with my childhood issues, my therapist got furious with me because i didnt "tell her everything," i said woman, do you realize how embarrassed your clients are? excuse me for not saying xyz sooner, but you dont get how immensely embarrassed i am and by those who speak without thinking!

i told my bf after that session this summer, this is the reason why lots of ppl have problems with therapists etc and i had these issues with an hs counselor and college counselor always gotta be so authoritative like they are playing God! told my therapist you try to be me and have people tell you you shouldnt feel that way or this way how long do u think u would last?

Its perfectly understanable to not feel comfortable sharing stuff esp if it doesn't relate to the current issue. And Lady you are right, sone of tgem make us feel worse than we did when we first came.

I would also suggest that you try again. It sounds like it would help you. But only if you are sure it's confidential! As for your friend, she doesn't sound like much of a friend or very professional, diagnosing you with some pretty disturbing things just on-the-fly like that! (And then leaving you to digest it at your leisure. That seems cruel.) If she were concerned, she could rather refer you to a specialist and then keep her nose firmly OUT of it.

The friend is not a Dr, She is a caseworker of sorts. She is not a therapist but goes to the clients homes and recommends that they take their meds and takes them to court and dr appmts.
As for reporting her, I could not do that. It just isn't my way.
I feel she thinks she is meaning well, but what she doesn't understand is her brutal "honesty" is hurtful to me. No one wants to be told they have issues all the time, especially when they are trying to rise above the being told that from the time they were a child on.
My self esteem is already so damaged.
I could be bi polar, but if I am, it would be more the depressive part as I don't seem to ever be manic, or hyper sexual. I also never take chances, sexual, spend money, gamble, etc.
As for schizophrenia, well I researched it and while I can have pretty high walls and be untrusting, that is due to all the abuse I have suffered. I don't feel the government is conspiring against me, I don't feel the neighbors are out to get me, or feel the need to put tin foil on my windows..like she has told me her clients do. I don't have anger either or am not violent towards others.
At this point though, I almost want to just to call her and have her come out and be a smarta** about it.
She has been turned in before, so I assume her diagnosing people will get her into trouble at some point.
As for my therapist, she feels I am empathetic, sensitive, intelligent and dealing with things as best as I can considering.
She feels I have trust issues, yes, but she also can see the reasons why and does not even know half of what I have been through.
As a victim of childhood sexual, and emotional abuse, then onto rape in later years, along with physical, emotional and mental abuse, well I feel I am going to have times that I isolate and have depression. Just because I don't want to go hang out at a bar with my "friend" should not mean I am bi polar or schizo. It just means I don't want to put myself in a position to be hurt again.
Anyway, I am rambling. I guess I am just disappointed that I thought my friend was my friend and not judge and jury. :(

It's actually EXTREMELY unethical for your friend to be chiming in like this to ANYONE. As in, licenses revoked, getting disbarred levels of unethical. There is a reason that you get to sign all that paperwork regarding your rights as a client before any sessions begin. She's assuming the mantle of authority which she has no right to, and does not have the training to weild.

Your 'friend' has enough knowledge about mental health to be truly devastating, without any of the training or expertise to use it carefully and properly. It's the difference between handing a surgeon and a three-year-old a scalpel. Especially when you take into consideration the already vulnerable nature of the people she is working with... Actaully, the place she works at could be legally liable for this behavior, especially if it's happened before.

But yes - it would almost certainly help you to go back to therapy - once you find one that you trust and feel comfortable with.

Hi Joanie,

I am terribly sorry for your pain, and that you feel as though you have no one safe to talk too. Is there a bigger city nearby? I know it may mean a longer commute to see someone, but at least you would be guaranteed some level of anonymity.

It is important to feel safe with your therapist. I had to interview a couple before I found someone I was comfortable with.


I am sorry about your friend. she seems terribly insensitive to the fact that you are going through a traumatic situation and have a lot of grief coming from multiple directions (family included). There is a reason why she is not a therapist, and that is because she is not licensed to do so.

Schiziod personality disorder is extremely hard to diagnosis. Further, I think that each diagnosis needs to be weighed against the life history of the person. If you feel the world is an unsafe place, and you have experiences that this is true, that would not make you paranoid nor indicate that you had a personaility disorder.

Also, it is very typical of people who have PTSD (which many of us here have- how can you not experience a traumatizing event and remain unaffected?) to withdraw socially and even become agoraphobic, precisely because we have experienced the world as an unsafe place. Frankly, being told that there is something wrong with you all the time from a close friend is only confirming that feeling!


The most important first step in your recovery is beginning to carve out safe places for yourself in this world. It can be at home, in your car, but most importantly, it should be in your therapist's office.


Just my .02!

freedom - and the reason she isn't licensed to do so is because she can't seem to grasp the simple fact that mental health professionals don't hand out free samples, in much the same way that pharmacies don't. And for much the same reasons.

Heh. I picture a retired lady with the little plastic cups and a microwave. "Ladies and gentlemen, would you like to try some Lindextrine? We're having a special on it today, and the side effects are really minimal..." And it's time to stop the image before I zing past the line of appropriateness again.

Sorry, Joanie - this fires me up a bit. One of my narcs got his undergrad in psychiatry, and a far as i can tell, no one told me I was crazy until after he had talked to them. Then -bam- "C was right! You're crazy, and the fact that you deny it is proof that he's right, and further, complaining that people are calling you crazy is simply an attempt to get them to feel sorry for you without having to adress the fact that you're crazy..." I think that summary just broke my brain a bit. Meh. If that's sanity, they can have it.

I've actually commented on something like that before..... Nobody should be making armchair diagnoses for mental issues. Including members of this site. We are way to happy to throw around terms like psychopath and narcissist without the training needed to make those terms mean anything, they come off more as insults than anything and mental health does not need any more stigma attached.

As for you, your friend was completely out of line. You should try to see if you qualify for discounted or free mental health through either a government or work program. That would help ease the Burden.

reply #11,

i call my parents narcs all the time same with sociopath as they fit all the terms hell my own therapist agrees my dad is a narc but doesnt agree about that with my mom not like i need her opinion on what my mother is. i have read enough books on narcs to understand my own parents.

i have seen on this site how people throw up ridiculous phrases without even asking a poster to explain his/herself from their own stories/questions they are asking about. i have seen more accusations than anything else on here with tons of assumptions.

to someone on here who said therapists can make us feel like shit before we went into their office i completely agree because that is not what therapy is all about.

Right on Jim !

The "friend" has had counseling herself for depression and is on valium and smokes pot to self medicate. She used to use meth but does not now, this was years ago. I guess I just find it a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, to tell me I have issues with my depression and possibly other things, when she herself battles it. Also she says I am addicted to Soma, which is Dr prescribed. I don't feel that I am as I don't overuse it. I am not saying I have never taken more than I should in a bad period, but its not typical of me. I guess my issue is that her picking at me does not seem fair when she does what she does?
Anyway, I want to say that I am not in anyway saying that to be bi polar or schizophrenic or have any mental health issue makes one less than in anyway. I want to get that out there. That is not my issue. I just prefer to be diagnosed by a professional doctor or psych.
Sometimes I feel like I could have some of the symptoms of bi polar with my depressive moods, but I really never seem to have the mania symptoms, so who knows.
I have been searching for counselors close to my area. I really did like mine, and have been wondering if I should contact her via email and see if it would be possible to meet with her at another facility or at her home.

I took the Borderline Personality test..and to my surprise I scored a 23 which says I am likely to have a Borderline diagnosis. :/

I also took the second test on personality disorders and was further surprised. I am starting to think perhaps I am the reason for none of my relationships working out after all.
Paranoia rated High, Schizoid-Low Schizotypal-Very High Anti Social-Low (surprising as I stay home mainly beside work?)
Borderline-Moderate Histronic-Moderate Narcissistic- Low Avoidant-Very High Dependent- Very High Obsessive Compulsive- Very High

It looks like I should not be in any place to be avoiding my ex or judging him. I should be looking at myself in the mirror. Also perhaps I should take a break from this forum as clearly I don't have myself together.