Well to me, if you don't want to be rude, you be as sweet as you possibly can be, not that your not sweet, people hate to see you happy.

All you have to be is cordial, and just talk to him as if you just met him for the first time, no harm done, and then he feels like, wait what just happened, doesn't she know who I am?

(With due respect, I
have a different
suggestion than
madashell.)

Any interaction with
someone from whom
you're now NO CONTACT
sends the message that
it's again open season
on abusing you, again.

So. . . . no more than
a civil nod of the head,
to acknowledge that
you've seen and
recognized them.

DON'T ENGAGE or
allow yourself to be
roped into interaction.

If they ask how you are,
say "great" and keep
moving. DON'T
reciprocate asking
them how they are.

If they attempt anything
further, say, "I have an
appointment. Take care."
And MOVE ON.

DO NOT ENGAGE!!!!!

Rehearse this scene
in your head again
and again, so that
when it happens,
you'll be able and
smooth.

Take good care of yourself.
Practice self-care!!!!!!!

I agree with Ilene W ! You owe your abuser nothing !!! I would not care about how you appear to him. I wouldn't even engage with him at all...He is not worth you caring what he thinks of you. Learn how to take care of yourself. You need to keep yourself safe. I would not even acknowledge him. just keep moving....Put your mental and physical health your top priority...

I have a similar issue, albeit I don't run the risk of running into the girl in question often at all (it's just a possibility that I could run into her on campus).

The times that I have bumped into her have been miserable for me since encounters with her trigger PTSD issues related to my time dating her. And if that weren't bad enough, I'm forced to maintain my composure and keep the overwhelming anxiety/feelings/pain bottled up and hidden from everyone around me.

Due to my situation I cannot afford to allow my problems interfere with my job (which happens to be on campus), and it isn't safe for me to allow my family to learn about any of these problems I am having. This site has become my only safe outlet for venting and receiving any form of support from other people.


As for how I deal with such encounters: I tend to put up walls and become very dismissive of what she says. I'll be polite and respond if I have to, but I also try to keep all conversation to an absolute minimum and find a way to excuse myself from the situation and get away from them.

Thanks so much for your responses. I am codependent and I am working on that big time. I tend to over analyze everything. When I posted this question, I got no responses. I felt people assumed it was a "no brainer" question, but it really was a struggle for me. I mentioned it to my therapist on Saturday. He said exactly what you all are saying. ILENE -- He said EVERYTHING you said. Are you sure you're not a man who happens to be a therapist???? :-) If I see him and he doesn't see me, I will run like hell. If I see him and he speaks, short one word answer, but keep it moving. I will NOT get sucked into a real conversation. Love you so much DS Fam!

I'm spirit in
female form
(this life).

So I'm not
presently
your actual
therapist.

But both he
and I are
drawing
from the
same well
of wisdom.

Stay centered,
happy and healthy.

Much love.