Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Its been about 7 months since I got out of my emotional abusive relationship, had no contact for about 5 months and wondered if someone could explain/help me with something.
I have been in a particular scene (dont really want to say what scene) for 15 or so years and met my ex in the scene when he was a newbie to the scene. Now I dont want to go to places where I know he will be there (and mutual friends will be there), for instance I was at an all-day thing and saw him, didnt realise he would be there (didnt speak to him) but I immediately felt like I wanted to leave and I did go home. I feel like I am hiding away and missing out on so much that I would normally be doing but as I know that he is going to be there I dont want to go. When we split up I vowed that I wouldnt let him take the scene as it was mine (if you know what I mean) but that has gone out the window and I dont feel strong enough to fight. Is this a natural reaction that will pass?
Also as I am typing this, I am typing that he is an ex but it doesnt feel like he is an ex, does that make sense?
I have been in a particular scene (dont really want to say what scene) for 15 or so years and met my ex in the scene when he was a newbie to the scene. Now I dont want to go to places where I know he will be there (and mutual friends will be there), for instance I was at an all-day thing and saw him, didnt realise he would be there (didnt speak to him) but I immediately felt like I wanted to leave and I did go home. I feel like I am hiding away and missing out on so much that I would normally be doing but as I know that he is going to be there I dont want to go. When we split up I vowed that I wouldnt let him take the scene as it was mine (if you know what I mean) but that has gone out the window and I dont feel strong enough to fight. Is this a natural reaction that will pass?
Also as I am typing this, I am typing that he is an ex but it doesnt feel like he is an ex, does that make sense?
you're struggling
with the aftermath
of emotional abuse.
It's not unusual to
have residual stuff
and it's also not
unusual to have ex's
showing up, if neither
party has moved
geographically, from
where the relationship
took place.
If you haven't already,
counseling might be
worth some consideration,
especially regarding your
last statement. . . . not
feeling like he's an ex.
But it might help you
overall.
In regards to him showing
up where you are. . . . the
only variable here is where
you go and how you respond
to your emotions. It's certainly
not unusual to feel like you don't
want to be around someone
you know is toxic. There's no
way you can control what
anyone else does, and certainly
not someone who's abusive.
Please take good care
of yourself.