Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have to go to my exes hometown this evening and tommorrow to attend SATOP classes from an accident I was in back in August and although the last text I recieved from him BEFORE I had my phone number changed told me he would be out of town a couple of weeks and his phone would be on and off, I am pretty nervous about being in his town.
I realize this is silly and it is not like he is a comic book villian who can show up at the classes and kidnap me or something. I cannot be sure that he told the truth about being out of town and I really don't want to reinitiate contact or drive by his place to check and see if he is there.
I really cannot for the life of me figure out why I am so afraid of possibly running into him?
I actually took a drive up to find the place where I would be taking these classes Wed while off work as I had no idea where it was and will be rushed today as I have to leave right after work. I found it and was proud of myself for not stopping at the local Walmart (even though I needed to shop badly) and for not attempting to go by HIS place to check out his story of being out of town. I went straight on OUT of town and shopped in another town. I felt strong about that. :)
Anyway, I just can't seem to shake the fear of running into him and how I will handle it if I do? I plan to gas up before hand, take lunch with me and have a cooler iced down as they have no fridge, and go only there and home.
I feel like a dumbbutt for being so edgy. What is my problem?
I realize this is silly and it is not like he is a comic book villian who can show up at the classes and kidnap me or something. I cannot be sure that he told the truth about being out of town and I really don't want to reinitiate contact or drive by his place to check and see if he is there.
I really cannot for the life of me figure out why I am so afraid of possibly running into him?
I actually took a drive up to find the place where I would be taking these classes Wed while off work as I had no idea where it was and will be rushed today as I have to leave right after work. I found it and was proud of myself for not stopping at the local Walmart (even though I needed to shop badly) and for not attempting to go by HIS place to check out his story of being out of town. I went straight on OUT of town and shopped in another town. I felt strong about that. :)
Anyway, I just can't seem to shake the fear of running into him and how I will handle it if I do? I plan to gas up before hand, take lunch with me and have a cooler iced down as they have no fridge, and go only there and home.
I feel like a dumbbutt for being so edgy. What is my problem?
I used to always worry about running into my ex and have a couple of useful strategies for that.
First, always expect to run into him. Imagine that you will see him when you go near his lair/domain. This way, when and if it happens, you expected it anyway.
Second, surround yourself my a magical, silver shield of righteousness. pretend you are protected by an invisible barrier made of love, sunshine, and laughter. Yes, it's all imaginary, but it helps me anyway. I also remind myself that I have done nothing wrong and I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Hugs to you, hon, it gets better with time and work!
That's a common injury of abuse.
You are doing great. Keep on
doing what you're doing.
It takes time to heal.
LOVE YOURSELF.
You're a flower
on the stem
of the universe!
Please don't beat yourself up. I agree with the other thoughts here. It's good to get out and his "games" about phone off/on etc are just that. He wants you to feel off balance. They're good at that but the way you've planned your trip shows strength so please stay strong. We all know it's tough....Hugs!
He could have lied about being elsewhere, knowing I had this coming up and he is quirky. I have to wonder who is taking care of his cat for two weeks, though he does have a close friend that may or his Mom, even though they do not get along, or perhaps even the ex, if he did not take her, but I just recall with his OCD, how odd he would be about staying at my place and having to get back to feed the cat at a certain time or take care of this or that..etc.
He adheres to a rigid schedule and I would say it is his womanizing, but I have actually stayed with him for almost a week and he is very set in his ways, very controllive about what time to wake up, what he eats, his foods, appts., where he goes, etc.
Then he may just go impulsive and that is when I feel he may be drugging or possibly just the addictive personality kicking in..
Perhaps that is why I cling to the fear I have of him. Nothing is ever what it seemed with him from the very beginning and it just progressively got more sinister. :(
I am just relieved I do not live in that town, I am not strong enough to have to face him daily and I can see why his ex most likely will never detach from him. She only lives a block away and has been with him for years on and off, they have mutual friends, run into each other where he shops and goes to college..I feel for her. :(
I will just hope and pray to keep strong and get this weekend over. Thanks again for all the support.
Yes, it's common.
I try meditation and relaxation techniques. You can google it and come up with many different techniques and varieties if you are interested in trying. Deep breathing exercises work well too.
Who would think a job would be kind of a block to getting help in some ways? I even work Saturdays so that is not an option.
Well at least after this weekend, I will have that much, the classes out of my way.
Here is to hopefully a brigher future.