Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I cannot take credit for this, it was posted on another forum I belong to. I hope she won't mind me reporting here; what she wrote is so powerful and puts into words something I've never really been able to express. It has been somehow freeing to me to read it, and I hope it helps someone here see the truth as well.
Hi, hello, it's me again! Some of you may be angry with me, some of you may just be confused and hurt. Some of you may think I'm pathetic and weak.
All of you are justified. To all of you I apologize. Please let me explain:
Did you know I have been a victim of domestic abuse? No, I never had to get medical attention, I do not have CPS crawling all over my life, and I do not have "his" picture posted at my local police station. No, I have quietly endured, and he has been smart to not hurt me too bad.
Did you know that I had to stop talking to you because if I continued to push the subject with him he would have hit me? That even without continuing to question his direction, I was deemed a nasty, selfish, worthless person in my own house? Did you know?
Did you know that if I didn't prepare his food just so, or fold his laundry just so, that it would be strewn about my room in a fit of rage? Did you know that when I reached out to my family and friends I was punished?
Did you know that every paycheck I've received in the last eight years has been placed in his hands, in his control, and that is why I can't drive to see you and show you the beautiful children I bore in the last two years?
Did you know I would have invited you over for a coffee or a bonfire if I thought it wouldn't cause a dramatic outburst from him?
Did you know he convinced me that I was not capable of handling personal relationships, and beyond that, he convinced me that I was unlikable, that I was ntolerable, that I was delusional?
Did you know that I have tried to stand up for myself, that I did try to work it out, that I thought maybe he could see things differently, and that every time I did any of those things he hurt me?
Did you know he calls me names, belittles me, and berates me, that he uses what he knows I fear and am unsure of to unsettle me? Did you know he does these things in front of our children?
Did you know he would kill me if he knew I was telling people? Did you know he would never let people see this side of our life?
Did you know that the few times you may have received messages from me at the holidays or on your birthdays I did it secretly, deleting and erasing any traces of my communication?
Do you know how much I've missed you?
Hi, hello, it's me again! Some of you may be angry with me, some of you may just be confused and hurt. Some of you may think I'm pathetic and weak.
All of you are justified. To all of you I apologize. Please let me explain:
Did you know I have been a victim of domestic abuse? No, I never had to get medical attention, I do not have CPS crawling all over my life, and I do not have "his" picture posted at my local police station. No, I have quietly endured, and he has been smart to not hurt me too bad.
Did you know that I had to stop talking to you because if I continued to push the subject with him he would have hit me? That even without continuing to question his direction, I was deemed a nasty, selfish, worthless person in my own house? Did you know?
Did you know that if I didn't prepare his food just so, or fold his laundry just so, that it would be strewn about my room in a fit of rage? Did you know that when I reached out to my family and friends I was punished?
Did you know that every paycheck I've received in the last eight years has been placed in his hands, in his control, and that is why I can't drive to see you and show you the beautiful children I bore in the last two years?
Did you know I would have invited you over for a coffee or a bonfire if I thought it wouldn't cause a dramatic outburst from him?
Did you know he convinced me that I was not capable of handling personal relationships, and beyond that, he convinced me that I was unlikable, that I was ntolerable, that I was delusional?
Did you know that I have tried to stand up for myself, that I did try to work it out, that I thought maybe he could see things differently, and that every time I did any of those things he hurt me?
Did you know he calls me names, belittles me, and berates me, that he uses what he knows I fear and am unsure of to unsettle me? Did you know he does these things in front of our children?
Did you know he would kill me if he knew I was telling people? Did you know he would never let people see this side of our life?
Did you know that the few times you may have received messages from me at the holidays or on your birthdays I did it secretly, deleting and erasing any traces of my communication?
Do you know how much I've missed you?
Thank you.
If only more people understood. Those words would be great on a poster. Hugs xxx