I won't repeat all the details, but I have been dealing with parents who have supported my abuser ever since I left him. We have been estranged and this weekend we had a confrontation tat did not start out well. I posted about it at http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical_Emotional_Abuse/forum/20465411-so-went-well-ha when I was really upset.

I just want to share what happened next.

So as I said in the tread, after Saturday when my parents left me to spend time with our abuser, I felt awful. I spent a lot of effort on self care - got a pedicure, and a cup of coffee, and called some friends. I decided that even if they were behaving atrociously, I was proud of myself. I wasn't going to sulk, or waste my time feeling bad. I just accepted that they were incapable of loving us for some reason, and that gave me all the more reason to love my self and my children. That mindset allowed me to spend the next few days with my parents positively. I decided the best thing to do was allow the kids to enjoy the time with their grandparents. We were able to spend time together without anger or tears.

This is actually a huge deal in itself because a year ago I would NEVER have been able to speak up to my family and tell the truth. If they hurt me, I would have run away.

So we spent the next couple of days together just having a basic relationship. Not close, but enjoyable. A few times my divorce or my ex came up and I always called my parents out on their negative comments. I stated my truth and went back to being pleasant. Big change for me! My ex also did something damaging this weekend and my parents witnessed it. Over a couple of days, I saw their attitude change.

Slowly they began to say fewer and fewer critical things. And then this morning before their flight home, my mother sat me down and... get this... APOLOGIZED for her behavior and words and for not supporting me sooner. Now my mother has narcissistic personality disorder (diagnosed) and I don't remember her ever, ever apologizing to anyone, ever, at any time for anything in my entire life. This is literally the first time I have heard her say the words I am sorry. It must have cost her an enormous amount and I am floored. My father too pulled me aside to tell me that he didn't understand before just how bad things were and I have his full support now.

I realize that this doesn't mean things are perfect and that they may get home and go back to the critical way they were. I am prepared for that possibility. But hearing that was amazing.

I'm on a very grateful high right now! I'm really proud of myself and thankful for a good therapist who has brought me so far in just a few years. And to see such a profound change in my relationship with my parents is more than I could ask for. It gives me a lot of hope as I head into the thick of the divorce with my ex.

Thanks for supporting me and carrying me when I needed it, everyone!