Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'm out of the cycle of abuse. I came here to DS in October, after a few months of back and forth with the ex, which continued until 2 weeks ago. I don't think I'll go back. It was so bad and on top of it was the emotional blackmail, the despicable lie I gained information of due to a close friend/relative of his.
I'm sad. The distance from the relationship is finally an opportunity to heal and be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem. The problem was my overlooking the abuse because I understood. It was emotional violence to me over and over and over. I no longer have to participate, blame myself, react, try to make him understand. He doesn't want peace and healing and honesty. He wants power and control over me.
I have a good job now. I don't have energy to deal with his insanity or emotional assaults, complete disregard for my feelings. He says he loves me but he's not capable of treating someone with love and respect.
I no longer have to feel bad about myself for letting myself have my worst qualities brought out of me as I weathered his insane treatment and hurtful regard for me. I am free. I don't have to go back like I did 7 times or so. The total relationship was only 1 1/2 years. I understood from coming here how it could have lingered much longer.
I am healing now. I cried last night. There is loss for what I saw was good that I missed. But what was good had mostly disappeared a long time ago. Now I have to take myself and take what is good in me and build on that.
I don't want to repeat this cycle. I've had nothing but emotionally abusive boyfriends. I get hope in Al Anon and working my own recovery program for addiction, so I do not live at those low depths I once did and got familiar with. I now can have dignity and hold my head up and not let myself be a doormat, and blame myself for it.
Thanks for being here to help me with this. I don't know if I could have gone through it like I have without DS.
I'm sad. The distance from the relationship is finally an opportunity to heal and be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem. The problem was my overlooking the abuse because I understood. It was emotional violence to me over and over and over. I no longer have to participate, blame myself, react, try to make him understand. He doesn't want peace and healing and honesty. He wants power and control over me.
I have a good job now. I don't have energy to deal with his insanity or emotional assaults, complete disregard for my feelings. He says he loves me but he's not capable of treating someone with love and respect.
I no longer have to feel bad about myself for letting myself have my worst qualities brought out of me as I weathered his insane treatment and hurtful regard for me. I am free. I don't have to go back like I did 7 times or so. The total relationship was only 1 1/2 years. I understood from coming here how it could have lingered much longer.
I am healing now. I cried last night. There is loss for what I saw was good that I missed. But what was good had mostly disappeared a long time ago. Now I have to take myself and take what is good in me and build on that.
I don't want to repeat this cycle. I've had nothing but emotionally abusive boyfriends. I get hope in Al Anon and working my own recovery program for addiction, so I do not live at those low depths I once did and got familiar with. I now can have dignity and hold my head up and not let myself be a doormat, and blame myself for it.
Thanks for being here to help me with this. I don't know if I could have gone through it like I have without DS.
I agree with you to be strong and build on those strengths. I just want to be wholey, completely and utterly ME for a long while!
I was so impressed by your post I went and summarised it in word, like a mini article people can learn from. Here it is, in your words:
"Getting distance from the relationship is an opportunity to heal and be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem. The problem was my overlooking the abuse because I understood. It was emotional violence to me over and over and over. I no longer have to participate, blame myself, react, try to make him understand. He doesn't want peace and healing and honesty. He wants power and control over me.
I don't have energy to deal with his insanity or emotional assaults, complete disregard for my feelings. He says he loves me but he's not capable of treating someone with love and respect.
I no longer have to feel bad about myself for letting myself have my worst qualities brought out of me as I weathered his insane treatment and hurtful regard for me. I am free.
I am healing now. There is loss for what I saw was good that I missed. But what was good had mostly disappeared a long time ago. Now I have to take myself and take what is good in me and build on that."
Thank you.