Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Anyone here have children with an abuser?? I have been out of my abusive marriage for almost three years now, and the hurt stays fresh, as I have to converse with my abuser for our son.
In the divorce, I was awarded sole legal and physical custody due to his abuse and neglect. However, the courts, reguardless of his neglect towards our son and constant emotional abuse both towards me and our son, make it hard to cut ties.
I never wanted my son to grow up without a father, but I have read, that often, children who don't know their father, fair very well, as their mother is often looking for lots of positive male role models as replacements. I also, can't imagine what positive affects this man could ever have on my son. His example, is one of the main reasons I left. My three year old already started exhibiting violent behavior, and I knew if I didn't leave, he would grow up to hurt someone elses daughter and I couldn't bear that.
Anyway, I feel as though it is sometimes, a never-ending struggle and wonder if there are others that deal with the same?
In the divorce, I was awarded sole legal and physical custody due to his abuse and neglect. However, the courts, reguardless of his neglect towards our son and constant emotional abuse both towards me and our son, make it hard to cut ties.
I never wanted my son to grow up without a father, but I have read, that often, children who don't know their father, fair very well, as their mother is often looking for lots of positive male role models as replacements. I also, can't imagine what positive affects this man could ever have on my son. His example, is one of the main reasons I left. My three year old already started exhibiting violent behavior, and I knew if I didn't leave, he would grow up to hurt someone elses daughter and I couldn't bear that.
Anyway, I feel as though it is sometimes, a never-ending struggle and wonder if there are others that deal with the same?
She's in karate and when boys ask her out she tells them they would have to meet her Master and the other black belts first - because she'll only go out with their approval. She considers them to be her family and has many, many male adults she can call on if she needs help with anything.
Kids are affected by abuse. Keeping them in contact with a relationship that was so hurtful that you as an adult could not take it anymore, is unfair IMO to do to their underdeveloped emotions and self-esteem.
I hope you find a way to cut the ties once and for all and get your family the love and support they truly need and deserve.
My advice for whatever it's worth...limit the time that you talk to your x. How can you heal and start a new life if he is so much in your life now? It sounds like he is using this situation to keep control over you. Start making decision on your own, if there is visitation (I would limit that as well if you can) set up with a 3rd party to pick up and drop off your son. I had to do alot of talking to my son after visits to determine what he was told and correct any behavior that was allowed there that was unacceptable in our home.
Good luck to you.
K
The court system did not care he abused me emotionally, financially, and verbally even in front of the kids.