Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Marie, Jim and other dysfuncitonal couples -----
Jim began his thread saying that Marie had invited him to join this group. I generally don't believe what abusers say, but sometimes victims bonded to an abuser have the misguided belief that the abuser will "learn" something in a group like this. So maybe Marie DID invite you. Maybe you're just telling us she did.
Marie and Jim --------
You both came here asking for advice about what to do. Here's my advice:
SPLIT UP AND GO GET HELP ----- SEPARATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then STAY split up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marie . . . . . . . spend at least two years learning how to build your inner sense of yourself to the point where you'll recognize toxic people. Then, when you meet someone who appeals to you, and passes the test of being HEALTHY ------ don't commit to long-term relationship until you've been together at least two YEARS.
Jim . . . . . find an abuser's program and then STAY OUT of committed relationship. And if you want to participate in a forum, find a "Healing from being a dysfunctional partner" forum.
Both of you ---- SPLIT UP and get yourself COUNSELING.
Good luck, but please, take this somewhere else.
(Marie ----- abusers don't change without a miracle. How many extra lives do you have available to you, to wait for one?)
Jim began his thread saying that Marie had invited him to join this group. I generally don't believe what abusers say, but sometimes victims bonded to an abuser have the misguided belief that the abuser will "learn" something in a group like this. So maybe Marie DID invite you. Maybe you're just telling us she did.
Marie and Jim --------
You both came here asking for advice about what to do. Here's my advice:
SPLIT UP AND GO GET HELP ----- SEPARATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then STAY split up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marie . . . . . . . spend at least two years learning how to build your inner sense of yourself to the point where you'll recognize toxic people. Then, when you meet someone who appeals to you, and passes the test of being HEALTHY ------ don't commit to long-term relationship until you've been together at least two YEARS.
Jim . . . . . find an abuser's program and then STAY OUT of committed relationship. And if you want to participate in a forum, find a "Healing from being a dysfunctional partner" forum.
Both of you ---- SPLIT UP and get yourself COUNSELING.
Good luck, but please, take this somewhere else.
(Marie ----- abusers don't change without a miracle. How many extra lives do you have available to you, to wait for one?)
I wish we could put a sticky on the board that says, "Please do not bring your abusers here!!!"
I see it all the time ----- victims who get an inkling of what might be wrong, trying to "enlighten" the abuser.
It never works.
Really guys. It never works.
Keep the books to yourself.
Keep the websites to yourself.
Keep your insights to yourself.
Marie, if you're still here (I kind of doubt it), you have brought an abuser into our midst here and we don't like that, in the least.
And newbies to the concept of emotional abuse ---- before you share what you've learned with the person abusing you, just hold off long enough to realize that this could be a fatal error.
When you finally find a safe circle, DON'T bring unsafe people into that.