Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Is that with a wonderfully written letter, a phone call saying all the things I want to hear or even in person being the persona I have seen before and had fallen in love with that I will plummet into his world again..
with my abusive ex, i had to ask myself if i wanted to take him that's what my daughter is going to be attracted to..........so i am teaching her no it inst like this.
it's hard at first but after time you will be happy and know what a real man can do.
You already foresee this as being problematic, so do some things now that will help you in the case that it does happen. Do you keep a journal? If not, it's a great thing to have as a reminder of all of the terrible things he has done...you have to keep those things fresh in your mind, otherwise, you will naturally drift toward the 'good' feelings. You know in your heart that lovely words are just words to an abuser. They say what we want to hear to get what they want. They do not mean any of it, and lying comes so naturally for them, they are believing it as they're saying it in many cases.
This is why NC is soooo important, to keep your head clear and thinking straight without his brainwashing influence. Don't take his calls, don't read the emails. If you must communicate regarding kids, keep it emails only and strictly business about the kids.
You recognize what could happen, what can you do now to prepare? Talk to your therapist and see what tips they have. Have an actual plan...things you can do instead of call him....
I know it's hard, but magical thinking and fantasizing about the 'fake guy' will only harm you...