Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello All ---
As part of the Doemstic Violence Awareness Month media spotlight, I was interviewed because of my association with Healing Emotionally Abused Lives.
I'm really happy to be part of the DS community and don't want to violate any DS terms. So if anyone wants to see the article, private message me and I'll send it to you or give you a link.
Always a good thing, when the general media puts a spotlight on the different ways and forms abuse shows up.
It's only been a generation or two that we've had shelters for women and children, here in the states. They may seem commonplace to anyone younger than thirty, but it wasn't all that long ago when there was no 911, and if you actually called for help, most responders would shrug and say: That's a family matter. It's between THEM.
Now police respond to physical violence. But emotional violence is still a murky topic.
Well, we're working toward more understanding.
Spread the word: No abuse is acceptable.
You are entitled to peace and joy.
Be well!
As part of the Doemstic Violence Awareness Month media spotlight, I was interviewed because of my association with Healing Emotionally Abused Lives.
I'm really happy to be part of the DS community and don't want to violate any DS terms. So if anyone wants to see the article, private message me and I'll send it to you or give you a link.
Always a good thing, when the general media puts a spotlight on the different ways and forms abuse shows up.
It's only been a generation or two that we've had shelters for women and children, here in the states. They may seem commonplace to anyone younger than thirty, but it wasn't all that long ago when there was no 911, and if you actually called for help, most responders would shrug and say: That's a family matter. It's between THEM.
Now police respond to physical violence. But emotional violence is still a murky topic.
Well, we're working toward more understanding.
Spread the word: No abuse is acceptable.
You are entitled to peace and joy.
Be well!
Ok, I'm sorry that I am venting! I'm just having a very rough day. I wish I wasn't in this situation. I want out!
I am thankful for 911. I am thankful that there is now shelters for women and children. I really do hope that anyone in a physically abusive relationship is getting the help they need.
But wht about the one's that don't have marks on the outside for everyone to see?
Great strides have been made with physcial DV- and thankfully so. But it is going to be much, much longer for those of us that our emotionally and verbally abused- if ever.
I know that in MY situation, I'm very scared to speak out about my abuse. It is my little secret. I know that people would not believe me and accuse me of trying to "cause" trouble. I have no proof of anything- and he will always make sure of that.
But society can and does change. There was a time that whatever happened behind a family's closed doors was OK. There was a time people would sing about having, "one for the road." There was a time, here in the states, that everybody smoked and that was that. All these things have changed, to some degree.
The stuff around emotional abuse can change,also.
First, we just all have to stop pretending that's it's not that bad and it doesn't matter.
It's deadly serious.
Don't accept it in your life. Spread the good word!
IW
I am glad that you brought up that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I volunteer with a violence prevention program and we have been busy getting out the word the past few weeks.
Great progress has been made in the past few years, but we still have a long way to go.
I hope and pray that the more work I do with this group the more strength I will find and be able to actually leave my emotionally/verbally abusive husbaned.
Keep up the good work! HUGS to you!
Angela
The work we've done so far is basically "scratching the surface." It's a start, but only, just a beginning.
Attention to emotional abuse is the next step.
Emotional abuse is so easy to slide beneath the radar. By its nature, it's easy to deny. It's easy to conceal. It's bloodless injury. It's like carbon monoxide poisoning: you can't see it or smell it. But it's deadly.
It's not about gender, about age, about intelligence, about economic status, about education, about race or ethnicity.
Emotional abuse, like all abuse, is about power and control.
Emotional abuse is inherent in all abuse. Emotional injury is the result of all abuse and trauma.
Attention to the identification of, intervention of and treatment of emotional abuse is the next step, if we're going to move forward as a civilized society.
Speak up when you see it, speak out when you feel it, speak your truth when you know it.
Love yourself unconditionally, love others as you love yourself and relate to yourself and others with respect, insight and compassion.
IleneW
This past Sunday and Monday, I told my husband repeated that I want a divorce because of the emotional abuse and the chronic state of our unhealthy relationship.
He wanted specific examples, and I spent hours ennumerating instances over the course of our marriage. His reply was that I am overly sensitive, prone to suggestion (referring to my volunteer work with the violence prevention program and working toward a Bachelor's in Social Work degree), I can't take a joke/have no sense of humor, etc.
I know that on some level he knows what is doing is wrong. He is aware of the line between emotional and physical abuse and has not crossed it years, especially since he lost a job opportunity because of it. He also makes it a point not to say mean/abusive things to me when my parents are visiting--but he more than makes up for as soon as they leave.
He says he will not leave because he has done nothing wrong. He also says that he has no where to go (his mom, brother, sister and numerous friends all live within a 10 mile radius of our house). Whereas all of my family is 1500 miles away.
I am tired of him and the abuse. How am I supposed to finish school to make a better life for my children and myself, when he is intent on chipping away at my soul?
That's my rant for today. Thanks for listening/reading...
Angela
Emotional abusers commonly say:
You're being too sensitive.
You're being brainwashed by others.
You have no sense of humor.
These are so common they're almost a script.
You can prevail, and my money's on the fact that YOU WILL.
All my best to you.
Stay stuck together and keep up the good work!
(By the way, I've often heard that you shouldn't leave the home during the legal process. In many places, that will put you at a disadvantage. If you feel you may be in danger, file a police report.)
Ilene
In hindsight, I know that I overlooked numerous red flags 18 years ago. I often hear others saying that they dont want to make the same mistakes etc...I can certainly say immaturity, lack of education and knowledge on domestic violence, hormones and just plain old "knowing everything" in my twenties contributed to my situation. I am educating myself on how to avoid the same mistakes. I hope that everyone else does the same.
When we fall in love, we think we've found the treat of our life, that we're going to be treated with love and caring, respect, support and compassion.
Then we find we've been "tricked."
We find that after taking a treat offered to us with an outstretched hand and a smiling face, we've become entangled in somebody's web of deceit.
But we can become disentangled. We can escape and move on.
I began this thread to reeinforce the fact that October is the designated spotlight to bring more awareness to domestic abuse and violence.
As this is the last day of October, I want to urge all victims, survivors and thriving escapees, to designate any day in which they've got energy, to focus the spotlight on identifying abuse in all its forms, bring victims support and connect with survivors. First, take care of yourself; then do what you can for others.
My wish for all out there, is a future filled with being TREATed with respect, caring and love.
Be well, all!
Ilene