Hi ladies, I was wondering if you've experienced this in your relationships. I don't think there's necessarily a connection between being abusive and having a fetish for softcore pornography or models/playboy bunnies, and I suppose that a man can probably have this fetish and not necessarily be abusive (although I can't imagine their relationship being very good or fulfilling!).

I'm personally not deeply religious or opposed to all pornography, but I think there's something fundamentally wrong with the way women are portrayed in not just porn but the media, the magazines, the advertisements. Basically everywhere.

I remember reading a study of matchmaking websites that showed that, for women over 27, there's a marked steep drop in male interest and that's in spite of professional status, high income or any other variable. Whereas , after the age of 30 men's "market value" apparently rises.

That may seem like a silly study but I think it tells you a lot. It tells you that women are only valued based on their youth and looks and that for some reason, men are exempt from that. That even if their looks may decline after a certain age they can still make up for that with their maturity, intelligence, character or even financial success or whatever it may be.

Unfortunately women cannot compensate in any way shape or form for loss of youth and that's an incredibly important issue.

Anyways, I recommend for everybody to read The Centerfold Syndrome, especially if you've dealt with someone who was preoccupied with pornography or female models.

About its author:

" Dr. Brooks began studying the connection between soft-core pornographic images in magazines like Playboy when he noticed his own attitudes changing toward his wife. He had grown up in
post-war America and learned much of his views about women by gazing at pornographic magazines. His earliest relationships with women frequently failed because he was always looking for the
perfect womanthe fantasy woman displayed in pornography magazines. He would break off relationships because of his girlfriends flaws. After 15 years of marriage, he began noticing himself losing
interest in his wife because she was getting old. At that point he realized he had to let go of his fantasy image of the perfect woman. It was pornography that had given him this false image of what the perfect woman should look like. "

". . . a survey of young men in the Stanford University School of Business Administration showed that their favorite magazines were Playboy, and GQ (Gentlemens Quarterly). Researcher Debbie Then was alarmed by the attitudes these men had toward women. According to Then, consumers of pornography were critical of women who were overweight, and they wanted their sexual companions to look like Playboy centerfolds. Her findings, said Then, confirm womens worst fears that first and foremost they are judged by appearance and that their intelligence is secondary in importance. The men who view these magazines say they are more critical of real-life womenand thats even when they are aware that the pictures theyre looking at are airbrushed and altered.

"The bottom line is that boys who are exposed to pornography and who slowly become addicted to these images, are being socialized to view women as sex toys and body parts, not as human beings made in the image of God. Boys who are addicted to pornography will find it difficult to form lasting relationships with girls because they are always looking for a girl to fulfill a fantasy created by pornography.

If these boys do marry, they will frequently be dissatisfied with their wives because these women can never compare with the fraudulent images and behaviors of women who act out in pornographic
magazines, videos, and internet sites."

Has anyone had this happen? Were you ever uncomfortable from finding your loved one collecting magazines full of women half your size or half your age?