My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. We have one kid together who will be 2 in a few months. I will start from the begining. When I found out i was pregnant is when i found out he did not want anymore kids. There is a 14 year age difference. When i moved in with him i got a message from a girl stating that he had been messaging her. I am not one to jump to conclusions so i waited until i could talk to him and confront him and get his side of the story.  He claimed she was an old friend and asked for money and he told her no so she said she would message me and ruin our relationship. Stupid me i believed him, that should have been my first clue.  Baby came and I am still to this day doing everything all by myself. i am the one who gets up at night, feeds him, changes him, takes him with me everywhere. I asked him once if I could take a few hrs to myself. Within 5 mins of me being gone he is tell me to get home now and deal with my child and then proceeded to tell me that he will no longer be babysitting him.. Its your child too!! I have left twice before but somehow he seems to talk me back into coming back.  The first time I left because I went thru his phone one night while he was sleeping and he was having conversations with three girls. One he was talking about how he will go to work early and meet up with her somewhere and sending her like kissy face emjois and hearts.  He said it was cause he was bored..really you dont even send those to me and im the one you supposedly love.

His moods change constantly I cant keep up. He gets so mad over silly things and then blames me.  His new thing now is these "test". And i have failed all of them and they are over the most stupid things, one was forgetting something in the car. Well ok im more worried about the kid in the car. then something im suppose to grab like a paper.  He thinks I do nothing. He flips out if he has to do the dishes, so i do them when i get home from work but then he like inspects them and says how crappy of a job i did then ends up throwing them and sometimes breaking them.  He is constantly upset or mad.  He tells me im changing are childs diaper wrong or feeding him wrong.  Well im sorry i dont see you doing it. Than he goes whatever i give up.  The other day he said he feels like he has three children.. Ummm excuse me... I have paid all of daycare since our child was born he has not paid a dime but yet im suppose to pay more of the bills?? He is constantly talking to himself loudly about me and how im a pos and a bad mom.  Our son has a lot of health problems and who takes care of him and who brings him to every single appt and there when he is sick or when he is crying, who is feeding him bathing him and loving him.  OH WAIT thats me not you, so i dont think im a horrible mom i think im actually a great mom.

I think i know what the right decision is to do, but why cant i leave. Is it truley because i love him or that we have a kid together.  I have been racking my brain the last 4 months on what to do and i get nowhere.

I know i need to moved out its just doing it and pushing myself to do it, but i always back out i dont know why im having such a hard time ive left twice before. I dont get hugged or kissed. I dont know how to descrbe it but i feel like my body is just craving a hug. Although i feel if someone did hug me i would just breakdown.