Okay so I've finally left...got my own place...another vehicle and basically starting over again when I find out he has pancreatic cancer. So I try to be nice letting him come over spend time, sometimes spend the night because i thought everything was cool. (nothing physical) All the time I'm thinking "what am I doing" this is the same guy who was terrible...but he's so much better now. Going through this was like sleeping with one eye open always waiting and sure enough the "gloom" started to creep in my house. Not speaking for hours laying on the floor not being social with me or his son. If I hadn't been through years of his behavior I would have maybe thought it was the chemo. Finally we arrived to a familiar place the one where he's quiet and then he says "Let me ask you a question" and I knew then it was coming, the cursing and the darkness in his face as if he hates me. That day when I left to take him home. I've never gone back, called or answered his calls. I don't know how long I can do this because we have a son together but I'm really at a place where I don't want to be bothered at all not now. I've only been in my new home a little over 2 months. I just feel like I need time to clear my head and stabilize my feelings. I feel like I just want to stay away until I can figure out how to deal with myself and him. I thought when I moved the abuse would stop but I see now as long as I'm with him it will continue. Is it realistic for me to be able to stay away as long as I can? I wonder how to handle this relationship for my son too? Any suggestions, advice and experiences are greatly appreciated.
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