Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
New relat, about 6 months. Seeing a pattern for me in relats, too much too soon, I let down my boundaries, and as I start to build them up I'm met with resistance. I currently the last two months ask for more space, and more space, it falls on deaf ears until I get pist and demand it, and it's TORTURE for him he says. He's so clingy. He hasn't had a gf in 14 years, and I am sure he was obsessive w/ her at that breakup, I believe there was some stalking and some arrest when it ended. I need to ask him about that, if I even want to deal with him. He's sober now, clean and sober 14 years ( me for 5). I guess I didn't consider that an issue at first. Now?
Anyway, yeah just wondering about other people's experience with not getting the space needed from a partner. I like a lot of time to myself, and not having this has not helped me to see things clearly, I've been so angry. I see my boundaries are violated, I'm "wrong". I'm tired of not being validated by him, but thank God I have some support system where I can get some validation for my perceptions he likes to disagree with. And my journals, they're invaluable for learning how this has all progressed, how long it's actually been going on. I complain and nothing changes. So yeah, insanity!
He "LOVES" me, well it doesn't feel like love, it feels like oppression. So I've said LEAVE ME ALONE a couple days ago, and told him no texts, don't call, don't show up, don't send flowers. He wasn't respecting my space. He'd called once "more of a business call" I said I didn't care, leave me alone, he's scaring me, he's forcing me to get a restraining order (not planning to). PMS yeah that was a little extreme. I've been stalked in the past, that's an issue. So I'm REAL sensitive, thank God.
He's got all these great qualities, I've only seen him get angry once and he apologized later. He's just really needy. So thanks for listening. Writing this helps me see I probably should continue to own my space, I know how these things can just go back and forth and linger for along time, been there done that.
Reading "The Dance of Anger" yeah I've been pist so it's really helping, my boundaries have been violated, I can't change him. And there's grief and loss. I'm grateful I've had counseling from a domestic violence counselor to rely on.
I feel so much better just logging on here and being accountable and feeling a part of, I know I don't have to do this alone. It took me a year of breakups to end relat with my ex 2 years ago, this website helped tremendously. He's STILL trying to contact me, hates me. I know it's insanity to respond/react.
Today I can learn the facts and take my time for myself and see things with ACCEPTANCE and the fact he doesn't recognize or acknowledge the issues I do shows me it's not going to change and it isn't healthy and I don't NEED it. And yet it's so hard to leave. So coming on here helps me see I can nip it in the bud, at least I'm getting better w/ that.
Anyway, yeah just wondering about other people's experience with not getting the space needed from a partner. I like a lot of time to myself, and not having this has not helped me to see things clearly, I've been so angry. I see my boundaries are violated, I'm "wrong". I'm tired of not being validated by him, but thank God I have some support system where I can get some validation for my perceptions he likes to disagree with. And my journals, they're invaluable for learning how this has all progressed, how long it's actually been going on. I complain and nothing changes. So yeah, insanity!
He "LOVES" me, well it doesn't feel like love, it feels like oppression. So I've said LEAVE ME ALONE a couple days ago, and told him no texts, don't call, don't show up, don't send flowers. He wasn't respecting my space. He'd called once "more of a business call" I said I didn't care, leave me alone, he's scaring me, he's forcing me to get a restraining order (not planning to). PMS yeah that was a little extreme. I've been stalked in the past, that's an issue. So I'm REAL sensitive, thank God.
He's got all these great qualities, I've only seen him get angry once and he apologized later. He's just really needy. So thanks for listening. Writing this helps me see I probably should continue to own my space, I know how these things can just go back and forth and linger for along time, been there done that.
Reading "The Dance of Anger" yeah I've been pist so it's really helping, my boundaries have been violated, I can't change him. And there's grief and loss. I'm grateful I've had counseling from a domestic violence counselor to rely on.
I feel so much better just logging on here and being accountable and feeling a part of, I know I don't have to do this alone. It took me a year of breakups to end relat with my ex 2 years ago, this website helped tremendously. He's STILL trying to contact me, hates me. I know it's insanity to respond/react.
Today I can learn the facts and take my time for myself and see things with ACCEPTANCE and the fact he doesn't recognize or acknowledge the issues I do shows me it's not going to change and it isn't healthy and I don't NEED it. And yet it's so hard to leave. So coming on here helps me see I can nip it in the bud, at least I'm getting better w/ that.
RUN the opset directions. don't was your yrs & mental & physical & finance well being.
there's how many men that live in your state & surround states and in US ...
Run baby Run and don't look back.