Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
It's not okay for a young woman to move out of her father's house.
Anybody hear this growing up? I'm the second of 8 kids, homeschooled, oldest girl. Not only did I hear that, I heard that God gave me to Mom to help her out with the running of the home. I just wrote the following up for another forum.
"First I left to study linguistics to prepare to be missionary. Acceptable - still in the circle of blessing under my father's authority. I was 21.
Had a mental/emotional breakdown at school - finished the 5-month program and came home burned out and suffering panic attacks, massive anxiety and depression.
7 months later moved out at 22 because my anxiety wasn't getting better and I had to try something and I had an offer to move in with a Christian family with 2 kids my age (public school grads!!!) who I knew and trusted but my parents hardly knew. I talked about it for about a month before I left. My parents believed I should stay home. I remember my Mom deliberately asking if I were choosing to go out from under my father's authority. "If deciding to move out is just that, then I guess so."
I suffered intense guilt while living there. Panic attacks continued. I would dissociate often when thinking of my family. Had no idea who I was or what I was doing. Unfortunately the situation in that household changed with elderly in-laws moving in and wedded (now pregnant) daughter who had been set up in an apartment in the basement moved out. In the switchover there was no more room for me. I was there 5 months and then returned to my parents house. My health continued to deteriorate. Anxiety was so bad I couldn't fold a basket of laundry or wash a sinkful of dishes. Mom pointed out I would always get worse around chore time, saying I was trying to get out of chores. I acknowledged the correlation, told her it was unintentional, and felt guiltier.
Next I got invited to stay with an elderly Christian woman and her husband who has alzheimer's. She wanted another adult in the house. Again my parents didn't know her, but I did and knew it was a safe Christian environment. Her daughter homeschooled some of her grandchildren and my Mom knew that family through homeschooling. I had decided to move out 'sometime after Christmas'. Dad somehow didn't get the memo. On December 26th I couldn't stand it anymore and moved out that day. My parents were shocked and probably insulted by my swift and desperate escape.
I found various local living arrangements since then. Set up a little business teaching Latin to homeschoolers and piano to anybody. Picked up a few odd jobs. Continued to struggle with fatigue, anxiety and depression. Thought studying may be easier than teaching so returned to Texas for linguistics in fall of 09, muscle pain had started before I left, it progressed the first few weeks of school until I was diagnosed with dermatomyositis - a rare auto-immune disease. I stayed in TX the rest of the semester even though I had to drop classes. Then chose to remain in the area - with my parents approval. Necessary because until my health improves or disability comes through, I'm financially dependent on them again.
What's funny is how 3 years ago it wasn't ok for me to live on my own as a single woman, but now it is. My parents views have changed. My sister in college (in Italy this semester!) won't have the same battle to face. Me - I'm still fighting it inside. "
Anybody else struggle with this?
Anybody hear this growing up? I'm the second of 8 kids, homeschooled, oldest girl. Not only did I hear that, I heard that God gave me to Mom to help her out with the running of the home. I just wrote the following up for another forum.
"First I left to study linguistics to prepare to be missionary. Acceptable - still in the circle of blessing under my father's authority. I was 21.
Had a mental/emotional breakdown at school - finished the 5-month program and came home burned out and suffering panic attacks, massive anxiety and depression.
7 months later moved out at 22 because my anxiety wasn't getting better and I had to try something and I had an offer to move in with a Christian family with 2 kids my age (public school grads!!!) who I knew and trusted but my parents hardly knew. I talked about it for about a month before I left. My parents believed I should stay home. I remember my Mom deliberately asking if I were choosing to go out from under my father's authority. "If deciding to move out is just that, then I guess so."
I suffered intense guilt while living there. Panic attacks continued. I would dissociate often when thinking of my family. Had no idea who I was or what I was doing. Unfortunately the situation in that household changed with elderly in-laws moving in and wedded (now pregnant) daughter who had been set up in an apartment in the basement moved out. In the switchover there was no more room for me. I was there 5 months and then returned to my parents house. My health continued to deteriorate. Anxiety was so bad I couldn't fold a basket of laundry or wash a sinkful of dishes. Mom pointed out I would always get worse around chore time, saying I was trying to get out of chores. I acknowledged the correlation, told her it was unintentional, and felt guiltier.
Next I got invited to stay with an elderly Christian woman and her husband who has alzheimer's. She wanted another adult in the house. Again my parents didn't know her, but I did and knew it was a safe Christian environment. Her daughter homeschooled some of her grandchildren and my Mom knew that family through homeschooling. I had decided to move out 'sometime after Christmas'. Dad somehow didn't get the memo. On December 26th I couldn't stand it anymore and moved out that day. My parents were shocked and probably insulted by my swift and desperate escape.
I found various local living arrangements since then. Set up a little business teaching Latin to homeschoolers and piano to anybody. Picked up a few odd jobs. Continued to struggle with fatigue, anxiety and depression. Thought studying may be easier than teaching so returned to Texas for linguistics in fall of 09, muscle pain had started before I left, it progressed the first few weeks of school until I was diagnosed with dermatomyositis - a rare auto-immune disease. I stayed in TX the rest of the semester even though I had to drop classes. Then chose to remain in the area - with my parents approval. Necessary because until my health improves or disability comes through, I'm financially dependent on them again.
What's funny is how 3 years ago it wasn't ok for me to live on my own as a single woman, but now it is. My parents views have changed. My sister in college (in Italy this semester!) won't have the same battle to face. Me - I'm still fighting it inside. "
Anybody else struggle with this?
Families are tough.
I am sorry but I think i misunderstood abit here....are you upset that since you have been diagnosed with an illness NOW they've decided its ok for your to live alone...is that what it is?
Sorry to be thick....
I'm just trying to see if there's anyone else on here with a similar past.
I also left and went back and left and went back alot...trying to find my place...