I am so sorry for what you have had to go through with this evil man. I do know how it is to be afraid of relationships and friendships it happened to me too. I was so paranoid I turned agoraphobic for years. Many days I couldn't even get myself to leave the house. One thing I can tell you is that it would benefit you to get well trained counseling with someone who has experience dealing with PTSD and trauma. I went through 12 years of abuse by my sons father but unlike you I grew up abused and neglected which made me a good target since that was what was familiar to me my whole life. It is probably more traumatic for you because you never knew abuse before so you really got blindsided by this guy and didn't have any idea how you got in that situation once it started happening. I really recommend counseling because it is not good to withdraw from relationships and people (not romantically) because you are just not living life that way. You will find a lot of support on here. Right now its a bit slow because many people are enjoying their holidays with family etc... but come on here and post, vent, or whatever you feel you need to do to begin the healing process. Sharing your experiences and getting validation help a little. I have been in therapy since I left my sons father and I am still healing. Now healing from another emotionally abusive situation I endured. It is very hard to get over these types of violations especially the kind you mentioned in your post. I hope this helps a little to give you a start or gameplay. Therapy is a must and even then it takes a long time to get over it and heal and then there are some things that will always hang in the back of your mind. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel so don't give up. I had to go through many counselors to find one that really helped me and I"m still not Ok with everything and am still healing. But it will help to start getting your life back and begin to trust people even if just a little again. I feel for your situation and I hope this helps a little. You have emotional support and encouragement here so also use this as a safe place to let it out. Hugz!! I hope things work out for you.

Hi there,

I am so sorry for what you've been through. I can't add anything to the wise and kind words radrm said, just wanted to say this is a very supportive group and you are welcome here.

Likewise just wanted to say well done for seeking support, this group is very good. You aren't alone, hugs

Bluerow,

I'm so sorry for what you have been through, and you really are not alone! Of course these situations make us lose our faith in humanity. I was a born extrovert and always very sociable, but a lifetime of abusive relationships have also left me very isolated comparably speaking to how I was. I spent the holidays alone out of choice, didn't buy many christmas gifts, have gone shopping for myself. I agree with the others! Counselling helps a lot! The problem I have found is that after the counselling, there are some friends and people who will not understand the newfound skills of "red flag spotting" and try to say that you don't give people enough of a chance, etc. I have noticed those people also have issues with control drama relationships, so not surprising. The more healthy you get, the more you will leave those behind. It's hard being isolated. But if you look after yourself, and do what you need to do for yourself, you can see this as a reparenting period where you raise yourself again and this time, guide yourself to make the right decisions.

Blessings!!!

Please look for a
qualified counselor.

Also, practice
self-care
every single day.

Your spirit is precsious
and life can get better.

Please take very
good care.

Sending you hugs
and healing wishes.

You have found a good place for yourself, for support and understanding. Take good care of yourself, keeping you in my prayers

Still new to this so thank youi all for your replies.

So sorry you are going through this.

My story is similar and I have gone through some serious isolation. It messes with your head. It gets better with time.

Hang in there! I'm glad you came.