And well, i had already decided that i was no longer going to be her dumping ground. And to everyone that replied, thank you so much... especially because of something that just happened not 2 hours ago.
OK, so yesterday, Kim comes down... actually, i am just going to cut to the chase.
So, we had a discussion last night, and it was starting to become clear that she was acting inappropiately(to her), and she was going to do this and that... blah blah blah stuff(all symptoms of the problem, not the actual problem)
Ok, so today rolls around, and well, fast forward to this evening. We were sparring, because i have a couple of practive swords, and she wanted to learn, so i am teaching her... well, she becomes frustrated, blows up... so i called the session to an end right there, we start talking...i then have ot go to the bathroom(Medical thing - Ulcerative Colitis). Well, i had left up a msg from LindaJean, because i was reading that before this all went down, and when she opened up the computer... well... i came out of the bathroom, and she was apologizing profusely. I said that it was ok, it wasn't snooping, it was an accident. snooping is when you go looking for it. And this wassomething that you happened across (i gave her carte blanche for my computer). But i decided to take it one step farther, and showed her my last post. and the one where i was calling myself the abuser, and the party post.
Now... after reading lndajean's post, she realized... that linda was right. None of what had been going on was my responsibility, but hers. she has now taken full responsibility. She has asked that i give her a bit of time, but that if she ever treats me like she has been that i leave her. I said that i won't promise one way or another, because i would then be putting an external pressure on her. But that we would cross that bridge if we ever come up on it.
Now... i will hold her up to this though. If she does get this bad again, then i will hold her responsible, and not act like the whipped puppy that is bad. Because i am not.
She knows that she was wrong, and when she saw it in black and white... she was like, "wow... i didn't even realize." And when she read my post on where i thought i was being abusive, she said that no, i wasn't, but that she was... that was why i was at the end of my rope at that time.
I will give her some time to fix her end of the street, and i will take that time so that i make sure that i don't fall into that mindtrap again myself. So that if she doe, then i will do the right thing.
On a diferent note... last night, she said that she was oging to go to counseling... because she realized that she was havin a coping problem... and tonight, after realizing this, i told her that i hoped she was also going to include our relationship in tat arena, because we can not keep doing what we have been doing. Both of us were going to lose our minds.
So... now for time to tell... one way or another.