Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been married for 21 years and am finally coming to the realization that some parts of our relationship are probably considered emotionally abusive. I go back and forth though and often think I am just overreacting. I lost my Dad one year ago to Lewy Body Dementia and my mom just recently got diagnosed with Parkinsons. I think these things are opening my eyes a bit to everything around me.
I feel completely alone and I think seeing how he reacted to the recent events in life, I am seeing that we are in no way a team and we are not "stronger together" as they say. He was very upset when the whole Covid things started and did not feel I cared or helped him, but since then he hasn't cared or helped me. He often preys on my fears. For example, I am terrified of heights, especially when driving. Not just nervous, but like have vertigo I am so terrified. He knows this yet will also pretend to drive off the road just to see my fear. I have hearing loss in one ear but also have trouble with loud noises literally hurting me, he knows this yet will make the dog bark in front of me even when I ask him to stop. I have horrible anxiety and am a jumpy person, yet he likes to come up behind me and scare me. He does these things and then asks, "Are you getting pissy again?" Now mind you if I did anything that annoyed him he would tell me off and give me the silent treatment for a few days. I can't do anything right and am told I am wrong constantly. I have zero self esteem and have crippling social anxiety because I know I am going to do something "wrong" in public. I just feel alone and have no where to go. I am a stay at home mom to two autistic children. They are fully homeschooled and in numerous therapies. I have 0 time for me between them and helping my mom and attempting to run a household. All aspects of the home and the kids are mine. If I child cries, he will look at me anfd announce they are crying. Or say, "The dog needs out. Kiddo needs a drink." I try to build friendships but I do not have much time and he rarely watches the kids so I can go out. When I do go out I have to check in frequently and make sure I am back exactly when I say I will be. I was late home from my baby own baby shower and wasn't spoken to for several days. I have been accused of having an affair so many times. If I stay up late, I am accused of texting some guy. I would never have an affair anyways, but it is laughable where he thinks I could find the time anyways.
This is a jumbled mess and not even the half of it. I am just trying to figure out if it's me overreacting and overthinking or if I might be onto something and this isn't normal. I don't feel loved, help.
Have you consider try and contact domestic violence hotline? They have someone that you can talk to and support you. They are there to hear your story and believe in you.
It’s not easy to get away from home. I used to be a hotline volunteer.
What is your faith background? Have you consider participate in church events or group support?
Hang in there. Keeping you in my prayer