Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
After having a birthday dinner last night for my 31 year old son, I am upset and angry with him and me. This kid has a serious addiction problem. He dad, my first husband was an alcoholic and drug addict and when they say this is a family illness they aren't kidding. I am a codependent and thats how I attract abusers. Today I set a BIG boundary with my son and I really don't care if he's mad. I called him on his behavior. I looked up Alanon meeting in my city and will go this morning. I am so worried for this kid. Any advise is welcome. BTW I just joined another group on this site for Families and Friends of addicts.
I am really sorry you are going through this.
I think you will get the best advice from Alanon. They will be able to tell you how to best handle the situation.
I wish you the best with your son.
((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))
The meetings seem to work well for some, although I don't have experience of them or specific addiction problems in my family/marriage.
You have made a great start already, so much so that I am not sure what else to advise, LOL!
Anyway, I think you are handling it really well, it sounds like a hugely difficult thing xx
I spent most of my childhood with the problem of alcoholism and it was not pretty.
I have dated so many alcoholics now, I have lost track. I would call myself an enabler and co dependent so I really would not be a good person to give advice as I can't seem to get out from under it, but I can listen and support.
There is also a group on here for co dependents.
Wishing you peace and strength..hugs.
I wish you the best and the greatest success in dealing with this... Good for you for setting a boundary!!!
I think dealing with toxic people and environments, is a lot like surviving a plane crash... You have to put on your oxygen mask first, before you can save anyone else.
In this case, it is you setting boundaries with your son and doing what you need to do to heal yourself first.
I also agree with what Maryjan said. In particular, 'change in someone else can not be led by us; it can be inspired perhaps, but not lead!'
Take care of yourself! And remember... We are here for you!!!
I hope the Alnon meeting was helpful. Know you are taking the right steps, even if they are painful.
Hang in there!