Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Today is seven days, 22 hours, 54 minutes
almost eight days. 12 days will be a record for me.
I have been doing the index cards exercise in recent days. I have been writing down every little thing (most of them not so little) that he has done or said to me that was abusive, disrespectful, or hurtful. I have finished one stack of cards and I just bought some more. On thing about this exercise that is blowing my mind is that each incident, each card, stand alone, by itself is a deal breaker. Each ONE of them a reason that he is not fit to tie my laces.
NO contact is getting so much easier as I recognize that he isn't worthy enough to hear MY phone on the other end of the phone. It has taken me a long, long time to get to this point, but oh my does it feel good.
If I can implement NC... any one can.
almost eight days. 12 days will be a record for me.
I have been doing the index cards exercise in recent days. I have been writing down every little thing (most of them not so little) that he has done or said to me that was abusive, disrespectful, or hurtful. I have finished one stack of cards and I just bought some more. On thing about this exercise that is blowing my mind is that each incident, each card, stand alone, by itself is a deal breaker. Each ONE of them a reason that he is not fit to tie my laces.
NO contact is getting so much easier as I recognize that he isn't worthy enough to hear MY phone on the other end of the phone. It has taken me a long, long time to get to this point, but oh my does it feel good.
If I can implement NC... any one can.
How are you doing beingshannon? X
I kind of chose right before Christmas because I didn't want him to be a part of my Christmas in any form. I can just hear his whiny voice and what he would say, "Waa, Shannon, how are you? Just seeing if you were okay. How are the kids? You all are together and I miss you. Waa"
Me message to him this year is that you don't get to hear my voice. The sound of my voice is precious and you have lost that privelege.
NC 8 days, 20 hours, 36 minutes
xoxo peeps
Awesome.
[s121214 ----- what's a
bits and bob box?]
Re: each individual card. . .. . . .
Yes. When one incident is
"framed" on its own card
instead of being one in a
long list, its weight is more
discernible than when it's
something the eye sees
and glances past.
And even when the incident
that caused discomfort or
pain isn't necessarily a major
deal, all by itself, when it adds
to the height of the stack that's
piling up, it gains importance
by visually and tactile-ly illustrating
that there's a PATTERN of abuse.
Hoping to hear about twelve days
of No Contact. After that, shoot
for twenty-two. Most new habits
take root firmly when practiced
for more than twenty-one days.
Keep on keepin' on.
You're doing great!
Love the sound of your determination beingshannon, your voice is precious and glad you view it that way, that you deserve so so much better. Well done you x