This is such a horrific situation...I am so sorry you and your daughter are experiencing this...I also do not understand how your husband could have anything to do with this level 2 sex offender..even if he is his son. He should be putting you and your daughter's welfare first, and he isn't. For myself, I could not stay married to someone like this. It;s hard enough to deal with what happened to your daughter...but, to know that your husband stills keeps contact with him, would be unbearable to me. Sounds like you and your daughter would be better off on your own.

I'm so sorry you're
dealing with this
awful situation.

Has there been
any kind of clinical
intervention or
victim services
support?

If not, please consider
plugging into supportive
services.

Please be proactive.
Whatever you husband
does or doesn't do is
not under your control.
But as a mother, there
ARE things you can
put your shoulder to
and get to happen,
to support your daughter.

Please take good care!

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing for your
daughter and
your family.

Obviously your step son does not want the help he needs and in my opinion, needs to stay clelar of your family. Your daughter needs to come first now. We always want to help our children but there are some things that as parents, we aren't able to fix. My EX husband Physically abused my grand daughter, his step grand daughter and It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It's a long story but I sent him away for a week pretending to send him back East to see his family. While he was gone, I was out of that house and took whatever I could. Unfortunately, the assaults took place in two separate counties so they couldn't prosecute him here, and I was not going to drag my grand daughter all over the country side. All he could say to me is " I have done nothing wrong.". If your husband continues to keep this pedophile,sexual abuser in his life, than your marriage is not more important to him and it's time for you and your daughter to get away.,Get some Therapy, and start over, without him. While they were investigating my husband, SVU asked me to pretend like nothing was wrong. That was the worse month of my life having to live with this pedophile, and I can't tell you what it did to me emotionally. He left the state and went back to North Carolina to be with his family and two grand children, one being a girl. I wrote a 5 page letter to his son and detailed everything that happened and warned him to watch his daughter very carefully. I never got a reply back. No, we cant always save our children, but you can save your daughter and yourself. Hugs GB

Im so sorry to hear about your situation.
Your husband should be choosing you over his deranged stepson.
I agree with Ilene definitely get help wherever you can get it.
(((Hugs)))

I agree with IleneW. The relationship your husband chooses to have with his son has you in a very difficult place, but you do have the ability to continue seeking help for your daughter and yourself.

I may be expressing an unpopular opinion here, but I can see why it would be difficult for a father to cut off communication with his child, even if that child has done terrible things. His son has a disorder, and he needs help, but once again that is outside of everyone else's control if the son chooses not to seek treatment. I don't know what the relationship is like between your husband and his son, but perhaps there's a possibility your husband thinks he is doing the right thing by being there for his child, or maybe he wants to believe his son will miraculously change and he doesn't want to lose a chance at a good relationship with him. I don't know if your husband is abusive himself by this post, but if you have your suspicions, there's a possibility he just doesn't care enough that their communication bothers you.

I am very sorry that you're in this situation. It sounds like you've been working at healing from this for a long time. If you feel your husband's communication with his son after what he did is a deal breaker for you, most people would definitely understand, and you are entitled to make that decision for yourself. You and your daughter deserve to feel comfortable and healthy, and it's great that you've been trying to get help through this by reaching out and going to counseling. If there are other resources available to you and more specialized in what your family has experienced, I'd recommend looking into that as well.

It was very wrong what happened to your daughter, and I can only imagine how painful it is to know your husband is still in contact with the person that did this. I don't want to downplay any of that with what I stated above. I truly hope for better days for you and your daughter.

I have conflicting feelings on this matter. On one hand I can see how your husband's actions would be emotionally hurtful towards you and your daughter. On the other hand I can understand how he would be reluctant to fully accept what his own son has turned out to be and cut all contact with him.

When someone (especially a close family member) betrays your trust in such an unspeakable way it can be hard for plenty of people to accept the truth completely. Even with undeniable evidence heaped in front of them. It can be a very jarring or even traumatic experience for many people to go through.

Everyone processes trauma differently, and it seems wrong to me for people to label or treat someone as a "bad" person simply for being unable to process trauma in the same way as another person and/or having trouble cutting all ties with an individual who has hurt them and their family so badly (especially when it's a family member they felt close to). If those things make someone a bad person then it seems to me that it would also mean that a large portion of the members of these groups on DS would be considered "bad" too since they have trouble completely cutting ties with individuals who have hurt them physically/emotionally/sexually.


It may be that you need to talk to your husband about getting counseling or therapy to help him to learn how to process the situtation in healthier ways that don't hurt you or your daughter and to also improve his understanding of how it is affecting you and her.