I have decide that I have to get away from my husband and I am getting things in order to do so.I get scared, confused, stuck a lot in this relationship.So I have got to remind myself of the bad things all the time or I can go into denial of all of the abuse that I have lived with for so long.I know this seems crazy but I feel crazy and I am always questioning myself,but I want to stop and become more sure of my own feelings.I have been miserable for far too long and I know I deserve peace in my life,well that is what I want to have and know that with him I cannot have peace.That only comes at very short periods of time.I want to write out some of the things that have been said to over me and over again because it helps me to remember why I want out of this so badly.Can any of you relate to this just wondering?Okay here is my short list long list is too long! You are an idiot, you look like a beached whale, I hate your F---ing guts, you bitch, you f--in bitch, you are a worthless piece of shit, your family are all idiots, your friends are idiots, pimple on my ass, I own you, I bought you, If I say no to sex he say's it's mine I bought it, or I don't want him grabbing me he say's I can do whatever I want, Why don't you treat me like your friends treat their husband's, Who the Hell do you think you are, Fat Ass, loves to tell me how good other women look, Every time he see's an old picture of me he say's who is that!