Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My niece Lori is 5, and she is very beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes. It takes me about 10 dollars in gas to see her, but I drive to see her several times each week.
When I saw her recently, she wanted to make a christmas present for her grandmother. She cut the sleeves and neck off of a baby dress and glued a piece of ribbon over the neck of it. The neck was so small an infant could not of worn it. Since grandmother's favorite colors are pink and red, it was a pink dress and she magic markered red on the bottom of the dress. She said it was a shirt for grandmother to wear with her favorite colors. lol.
I thought it was so adorable and cute and sweet :) When I saw grandmother, I laughingly said Lori has the craziest present for you. Unfortunately, Lori walked into the room and heard me say that and immediately burst into real tears. I felt just horrible.
Then grandmother got mad at Lori and said stop crying all the time, no one can visit with you because you cry so much!! Then Lori started crying again, saying that I caused her to get into trouble. sigh.
I love this child so so much, and I would never in her 5 years on earth want to make her cry...
I will not be able to see her again for a few days, and then she is going on a big holiday trip out of town. Any advice on how I can be a better aunt?
When I saw her recently, she wanted to make a christmas present for her grandmother. She cut the sleeves and neck off of a baby dress and glued a piece of ribbon over the neck of it. The neck was so small an infant could not of worn it. Since grandmother's favorite colors are pink and red, it was a pink dress and she magic markered red on the bottom of the dress. She said it was a shirt for grandmother to wear with her favorite colors. lol.
I thought it was so adorable and cute and sweet :) When I saw grandmother, I laughingly said Lori has the craziest present for you. Unfortunately, Lori walked into the room and heard me say that and immediately burst into real tears. I felt just horrible.
Then grandmother got mad at Lori and said stop crying all the time, no one can visit with you because you cry so much!! Then Lori started crying again, saying that I caused her to get into trouble. sigh.
I love this child so so much, and I would never in her 5 years on earth want to make her cry...
I will not be able to see her again for a few days, and then she is going on a big holiday trip out of town. Any advice on how I can be a better aunt?
every moment of our life. Don't beat
yourself up.
If it were me, what I would do the
next time I was with Lori, would be to
sit down with her, and start off by saying
you know that what you said to Grandma
about her gift, hurt her and made her cry.
I'd ask her to tell me about why she cried
when she heard what I'd said. I'd encourage
her to tell me all about what it was that she'd
felt that day. I'd let her say and express
everything that she thought and felt, when
she'd heard you talking to Grandma.
Obviously, whatever it was she heard you
say, she interpretted as meaning that her
gift to Grandma was flawed. Obviously,
that hurt her, because her intent was to
honor her grandmother, please her,
and make Grandma happy and
feeling loved.
If Lori is "sensitive," WONDERFUL.
Sensitivity is a wonderful thing, but
is too often maligned. It's when we
lose our sensitivity that we become
disconnected from most good things
in life. Sensitivity is a characteristic
of artistic and creative people, and
it certainly sounds like Lori is blessed
with sensitivity, creativitey and artistic
inclinations. This could be a seriously
wonderful thing in her life. FOSTER IT!
Bring her arts and crafts materials and
play with them, with together with her.
Lori sounds fabulous. Tell her that
you're sorry that what you said hurt her.
You might say that what you said, that
she'd made the "craziest" gift for grandma,
meant that it was interesting and unusual,
not anything at all bad, but that you could
understand how she might think that and
feel badly ---- and that you want her to know
that you love her beyond all your "crazy"? words.
That's what I would do, if I was precious Lori's
loving auntie.