Glad you could say it here, and I'm glad you feel a little better.
My mom is very moody,no she's crazy, herself. I know what it's like growing up around that kind of chaos.

Mine too. She didn't choose to be insane but I don't let that give her any leeway to treat me badly any more. It's hard to forgive a person who does something over and over because of their mental condition. Boundaries are what has kept me from feeling guilty and worthless all the time, you got to put some up and stand up to them also. I know how you feel.

Thank you for your replies. I tried to put some boundaries up. Whenever she treats me badly I try to turn my back and leave. But before I have the time to do that, she will get on my nerves and ruin all the balance I have.
My problem is I was brought up being emotionally dependent on her. I have to be more organised myself..this is the hard part.

Paisly I am happy for you that you found a reliable way to deal with this situation.
Twirlergirl I am sorry you had to go through that ..

turning the back I have learned the hard way is a response they sometimes like. You have to let them know verbally not just physically that it is not cool with you.

you have to make sure that what you say to them is not verbally abusive or condescending back though, of course. Make sure that you get it clear that you are not in it to play a game and that you want love not tension, and that if they are willing to make things work then you are too. But yes make sure it is verbal also.

That's the problem.. I do tell her in a civillised tone that her behaviour bothers me but she will say ugly things( that might sound somehow funny if I wrote them down here) and will tell them in a despiteful manner making sure to express her contempt at my trying to stand up for myself. And that kinda makes me mad and I react stupudly. I once threw a shoe out the window :(
I really don't know how to say it so that she could understand...

I had to peek in to make sure my teenager wasn't writing this :)
You know, mine is too, strumphyy...and I do not like saying it...she's up in her years now, but she hasn't changed with time. I understand it's very frustrating to have an "unresponsive" or difficult parent(s), and I gave up trying to do the impossible ~ make her happy. I do wish you both are able to work out your differences, but if you know you've done your part, you can at least know this about yourself.

Thank you calmzone. You made a very good point there. I think I am affected by this problem to this extent, because I am not doing everything in my power to at least feel comfortable with trying. I am aware of the things I might chnage that will better our relationship, but I am not doing them..I will try though...

Strumphyy,

Me and my mom have had this same kind of relationship since I was 13-14 years old. She puts me down and nothing I do is ever good enough. I'm a single mom of a beautiful 8 year old boy, finished college with a bachelor degree, and try my best to stay focused...but she gets in the way of that alot. We probably have alot in common. Would be nice to hear from you.

Oh, yeah and I'm NEW here....:)

Mt mother use to physically and emotionally abuse me ...every day...
sure..she had her good moments...but she took out all her anger on me...

Never my sister...ALWAYS ME...

I feel your pain.

she would kick and hit me while I was on the floor...
She would hit me across the face several times for the smallest things...

Because of her I have BPD. Thank you mom.

Yeah, well, guess what girl, YOU AIN'T ALONE, AND NEITHER AM I ! My mom's a real bitch too. I think that this is one of the first steps to healing and that is finally finding a safe environment to that we can finally say it! Being able to express my true emotions and feeling in the home that I grew up in meant death. And I do not use the word death lightly. My mother was deranged and there was nothing I could do about it but try and survive it.