Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello everyone. My name is Mia and I am a victim of physical and emotional abuse since childhood, first and foremost by the hands of my narcissistic mother as well as my toxic siblings. When I was about 13 years old, she tried to set me up to be raped. At the time I had no idea what was going on because comprehend what was going on and of course my brain blocked out the reason for the incidence until I went through some hardships as an adult, one being the betrayal of my son's father.
As a result, I also suffered the same abuses outside of my household in addition to being exploited for their own narcissistic purposes. Eventually, I had two exes, both narcissistic and of course abusive, cause me more hardship and pain. My son's father and his mother (both narcissists) has turned our then-13 year old son (here's the number 13 again) against me and now I don't have anyone. When that happened, what was left of me, died. Sigh. I don't even recognize the woman I see in the mirror anymore. I feel like a shell of myself. Consequently, my self-esteem and self-confidence are in the toilet.
Now I am suffering with depression, PTSD and anxiety along with an eating disorder. I tried therapy but when I had state insurance I did not get the best help.
Because of my issues, I have a very difficult time holding down a job which is a further blow to my self-esteem and self-confidence. I struggle to keep myself from choosing suicide. After all, it is not like anyone would miss me.
Does anyone here understand what I am going through? If so, how do you keep yourself going?
As a result, I also suffered the same abuses outside of my household in addition to being exploited for their own narcissistic purposes. Eventually, I had two exes, both narcissistic and of course abusive, cause me more hardship and pain. My son's father and his mother (both narcissists) has turned our then-13 year old son (here's the number 13 again) against me and now I don't have anyone. When that happened, what was left of me, died. Sigh. I don't even recognize the woman I see in the mirror anymore. I feel like a shell of myself. Consequently, my self-esteem and self-confidence are in the toilet.
Now I am suffering with depression, PTSD and anxiety along with an eating disorder. I tried therapy but when I had state insurance I did not get the best help.
Because of my issues, I have a very difficult time holding down a job which is a further blow to my self-esteem and self-confidence. I struggle to keep myself from choosing suicide. After all, it is not like anyone would miss me.
Does anyone here understand what I am going through? If so, how do you keep yourself going?
I married a narcissist. He beat me and gave me black eyes. Stalked me for years after I left. I have three kids. Two blamed me. One stood by me. Now many years later I realize this...I did nothing to deserve how I was treated. I felt suicidal all the time. The only thing that made me not give up were my kids. And trust me even they put me through hell and back.
But I'm a fighter. I could have turned easily to drugs or prostitution. But that wasn't an option for me. I wasn't going to be what she brought me up to be. I was going to never be her.
Life has never been easy for me. I'm not one of the lucky ones who seem to just have life fall into place easy. I struggle. But still here and she's now dead.
I did therapy for a long
Time. Back then I couldn't afford it. There are free options. Family anonomous. It's for a lot of things. Abuse, people who live with people with addictions, etc. I did coda. (Codependent). I'm sure the people here will give you other ideas.
But I do understand. You aren't alone in your struggle. I used to be too ashamed to tell anyone what I went thru as a kid. Back then I was afraid to be taken away and put in foster care. In hindsight it would have been a relief.
Please try some way to get to counseling. Don't give up. Even though my name says I have...I haven't.
You are definitely a survivor. I just hope I can continue to do the same. I have thought of.going to a domestic violence organization for counseling since it will be free. I just have so many things on my plate that I must clear off. Sigh. It is so very hard being all on my own and taking care of myself. There are days that I shut down mentally, emotionally and physically because I am so overwhelmed.
I wrote my son a few days ago but I seriously doubt I will hear from him. My ex probably opened the letter to read it. lol. smdh. I thought when I had a child that ai would finally have someone who no one could take from me. My son and I been through a lot together and thought that was a bond that could not be broken. But here it is broken. Foolish me, to think that I would have happiness in this life.
I would take this time to work on yourself. You need to be stronger and healthier for when your son comes back looking for you. He will need someone in this world he can look up to. And If you aren't he has no one to turn to and he will feel like you do now. So start by taking the first step. Nothing needs to come before you getting help. Clearing our plate to make room for it will always be an excuse to stay stuck. There is time for you. Your worth that. And there are meetings morning..noon and night. Do it. Your life depends on it and so does your sons.
Mia, though I'm so sorry
for the circumstances
that have brought you
here.
Here:
(301) 352-4574
(800) 634-3577
Is the contact info
for your state's
women's resources.
I urge you to give
them a call as
soon as possible.
Frankly, it sounds
like your emotinal
stability is so fragile
that rather than urging
you to call ASAP, I hope
you'll call them TODAY!!!!!!!!
What's more important
than you're being okay????
Please don't delay.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better days in
your life, sooner
than later.
I feel better today but am still struggling with the loneliness issue. I was approved yesterday for fs and today for ma. I also received a letter informing me that I qualify for unemployment. Now.that I have some security blankets in place, I plan on taking some.time out for myself on the weekends for counseling. During the week, I will only focus on school and sleeping. I know this is the only way I will be better able to help myself because if anyone should help me it should be me and I should not expect anyone else to.do.so.
I do however feel better that I received replies to my post. It.tells me that there.still people out therr who care. :)