Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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My Friend

Elijahblu
Elijahblu
Since our split my ex has taken to going to one of my girlfriends homes and talking to her about his most recent ill will action he's done. I've had the conversation with her 3 times before about her need to entertain his visits and she continues to do it. After speaking with her this time I am certain that she doesn't understand how I feel or she doesn't care and I am seriously considering "shelving" our friendship. Let me just add we have been friends since 1998. My ex has never had a relationship with her and even when we were in a relationship he would drop me off at her house and keep going. I have a CPO in place. He knows I go there so why is he even talking/going there and why is she accepting his visits? Anyone.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
This does not sound like a friend to me. He is doing it for control and to make you feel scared. You are not her keeper, but if they wish to speak to each other (Why?) she should respect your wishes to not have a run-in with him and at least do it in a neutral place.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That's a strategy meant to upset you, and I would think, after explaining this to your friend, she would consider your feelings and know what he's doing; that is, basically manipulating her to get to you. I know how this works, when me and my H split up the first time he "enlisted" my long time neighbors and friends as "spies". But of course it was only because he was SO concerned about me - you know, he was worried I couldn't make it without him (gag).

If it's been 3 times, I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't also flirting with her to get information. Heck, just to piss you off, he might have an affair with her. If I were you, I'd definitely "shelve" that friendship.

Regardless if she's falling for all the charm, or whatever, she's still knows how this is effecting you and doesn't care - that's obvious by her behavior. Something like this can only get worse - I can only imagine the things he's telling her about you (working on an ally) and HE KNOWS his "visits" with her are going to get back to you.

It's all a game. It always is. Let her be the sucker (sucker because she knows about him and you) and protect yourself from both of them. That's what I would do, for what's it worth.

Good luck hun!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Elijahblu, I am not sure because I don't know your friend but she sounds like she likes being between you two in the drama. Why would someone do that? I ask myself if I would ever do that to one of my friends. The answer is absolutely NOT! I would end the friendship if she isn't willing to respect your wishes. That is so disrespectful to you and almost seems like she may have an interest in him. Although he is, of course, using her.
I hope that she realizes what she is doing to you.