Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Sabrina15 10/27/2010

It's been years since my abusive relationship ended, and I've recieved extensive therapy.....however, I cannot rid myself of the horrible memories. Over the years, they minimized in quantity, but more recently they keep recurring no matter what. It helps to avoid the triggers, and I do that as much as possible to keep from falling apart. I've had to keep this nightmare on the back burner for a while, because of other prevailing issues.....but now it's time to address it. I think more therapy/counseling is needed because I feel so isolated, even though I'm not the only woman dealing with this nightmare.

I'm sure that many of you can relate. How do you cope?

Sabrina

deleted_user 10/27/2010

Well though ive been trying for years to end this relationship i am currently one month no contact with my ex. I am in therapy and have really started to look at myself. The anger that we have towards the men that hurt and betrayed us will only keep us away for a while. But once you go back time after time you realize that after the anger subsides you need to start looking at yourself and accepting the things you did wrong in the relationship (which is usually a lot less then ur abuser) but at the same time just as important to address and accept. For myself coping is constantly trying to better the person I am. To grow from the pain and use all the resources that im given to help me stay focused on learning to love myself again. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!

Sabrina15 10/27/2010

Thanks for your comment. When I look back at the things which I did wrong.....I realize that I chose to ignore the "red flag" warnings which indicated how dangerous he was. Maybe I would have been spared the abuse which I suffered....who knows. Aside from that, all the blame falls on him because he was controlling, abusive, and possessive. The abuser is the only one responsible for his behavior....no one else. My only regret is that I trusted him.

serenitystar 10/27/2010

Sabrina, soo true the blame lies with the abuser. And the sad truth is that they can completely control it and don't treat others that way only us, only the ones they want too overpower and abuse.

Goodluck with your PTSD, even years later to be still experiencing that must be hard. I'm experiencing many PTSD symptoms now and the abuse is current so I can't imagine being away from this sitiuation years down the road and still feeling this way.

Sabrina15 10/29/2010

Thank you serenitystar for your compassion and understanding. *Hugs*

Sabrina

deleted_user 10/29/2010

Sabrina I am really sorry.

Suggestions might be:

+ see a counselor that can work with you through the situation and visualizing yourself in that moment again and coaching you through standing up to him and walking away. Visualization exercises can help.

+ hypnosis

+ only being around supportive people

+ create positive new memories and every day write 3 things you are grateful for. Concentrate on the positive so that it can grow. What you think about, grows bigger. Force those thoughts out and try your hardest to notice the positive daily. Writing it down is important.

+ anytime you have a lapse and think of the scary times have a rehearsed conversation where you tell yourself that you are not in that situation again you will not be treated like that again and visualize freedom and "letting go" of a balloon and releasing it into the sky

Sabrina15 10/31/2010

Hi CraftyJoJo,

Thanks for the suggestions....I found them to be very helpful. I can't wait to implement them.

Sabrina

deleted_user 11/01/2010

http://www.pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm

For PTSD: wonderful website that can help deal with abuse and trauma issues.

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