Hello. I've never actually written here before, but I thought I should give it a go and see if maybe I could help anything.

I have an extremely verbally abusive sister. She says and does the most horrible things when she's angry. I think she's bipolar. She's always sorry afterwards, and she apologizes occasionally, but it doesn't stop the fact that it happens so often, and if you don't forgive her immediately it just makes her mad and starts the process all over again. I'm 20 years old, almost 21, and she's 17. I'm living at home while I finish up community college before I transfer to a four year university next year. It's just me, her, my little brother, and my dad. I have an older brother but he's moved out, and my mom divorced my dad last year. 

I've been experiencing abuse from my sister my whole life. I've always been a very soft willed person and I've let a lot of people be mean to me my whole life. A large part of that comes from my sister, I think. I grew up thinking it was normal for people to yell at me or blame me for things that weren't really my fault. I had horrible self esteem and self worth for a very, very long time. I've eventually overcome that and become a stronger person, but no amount of fighting back or standing up for myself works with my sister. She doesn't care. Displays of strength don't stop her from continuing to be mean. It almost seems like it eggs her on even more. Leaving the situation doesn't feel right anymore because all I do is spend the majority of my time in my room, which makes my dad angry because then I can't do chores around the house. No amount of kindness or understanding does anything to fix my relationship with her. She doesn't want to talk about it because she doesn't believe she has a problem. Trying to bring it up just makes her lash out and say horrible things. She's hypocritical, manipulative, selfish, and bitter. It's gotten to the point where I just stay in my bedroom all day long because I have no interest in being around her. Being home at all isn't good because I'm not the only one she's horrible to. She's been verbally and at times even physically abusive to everyone in my family. 

She screams, yells, cusses, and blames all of her problems on other people. There have been times where my parents had to wrestle her to the floor while she screamed like a character from a movie about demonic possession. She's antagonized my father, trying to get him to punch her purposefully on several occasions. It's horrible. I walk on egg shells around her because I know that at any moment, something I do or say might set her off in an explosive way that always ends horribly. I have days where all I want to do is beat her into the floor, punch her until she bleeds, and yell at her. I never do. I won't let myself become that person because of her, but after so many years of dealing with her, I'm shot. I'm so tired of living in this house, and I know I only have to last one more year before I can leave, but it's still just draining my soul. I don't know what else to do.

She won't admit that she has a problem so she won't go get counseling. She won't admit she might have a chemical imbalance so she won't take medicine. Nothing that we've tried has worked, and it frightens me because I want to have her in my life. I don't want us to never speak again or interact, but it's gotten to the point where I don't want anything to do with her, and that feeling hurts almost as much as the things she says and does. My parents are no help because they've let this behavior be normal ever since she was a little kid. My dad refuses to send her to a mental health facility because he feels like it's giving up on her. I don't know what else I can do at this point.