Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
For those that remember me, I just wanted to update. We are still living in-house separated for a year now this month. Our 90-day waiting period was over 8/26/14. I've spent the last 5 weeks in contact with my atty, who was trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to get a hold of my stbx atty to set up our 1st 4-way mtg to discuss settlement.
Well, today I got the email, meeting set for next tuesday.
I am a wreck. I feel sick. I'm sad, crying. I just feel so beaten down and broken. 23 years with him. What happened to my dream? We tried so hard to start a family for over 9 years until we finally adopted - the GREATEST decision ever2 times :))) But they are only 9 and 3. This SUCKS for them.
I know all the advice - mourning the loss of that dream. I tried everything I could. Individual counseling, marriage counseling, talking to him, standing up for myself, I did Ilene's clarifying cards etc. I know he needs to be the one to make some changes too. And since he started anxiety meds 6 months ago, I see some changes. But there are still selfish, controlling instances that shine through over the last year. And I feel I deserve more and better. But I may never find it. Is that selfish of me? Breaking up my family?
I just hate the way I feel.
I don't even know what I'm asking for here. I just feel so lost and out of sorts.
Well, today I got the email, meeting set for next tuesday.
I am a wreck. I feel sick. I'm sad, crying. I just feel so beaten down and broken. 23 years with him. What happened to my dream? We tried so hard to start a family for over 9 years until we finally adopted - the GREATEST decision ever2 times :))) But they are only 9 and 3. This SUCKS for them.
I know all the advice - mourning the loss of that dream. I tried everything I could. Individual counseling, marriage counseling, talking to him, standing up for myself, I did Ilene's clarifying cards etc. I know he needs to be the one to make some changes too. And since he started anxiety meds 6 months ago, I see some changes. But there are still selfish, controlling instances that shine through over the last year. And I feel I deserve more and better. But I may never find it. Is that selfish of me? Breaking up my family?
I just hate the way I feel.
I don't even know what I'm asking for here. I just feel so lost and out of sorts.
(((HUGS))) and take care. We are with you xxx
You deserve everything
that's totally fabulous.
Will you find it?
Well. . . . many find. . . .
at least . . . . . better.
No guarantee for
totally fabulous,
though some
end up with
even find THAT.
Please, just hang on.
Life WILL get better.
Right now, you're
in the middle of
the worst part
of this.
Life WILL get better.
I have a theory that
there are basically
two states of being:
Copping and coping
You're in the midst
of a time of coping.
This time will
eventually end.
And then there'll be
a time of copping.
Those will be days
of life that's
better than survival.
They'll be days of
claiming, satisfaction
and even joy.
These are days
that prove your
endurance.
Later will come
days that'll
prove your
entitlement.
Please hang on.
Better days
are ahead.
I agree w/the other posters. You are NOT selfish. You ARE self-CARING. You are also a very caring mother who is doing everything she can to protect her children.
You and your children definitely deserve to live in peace. You deserve to be surrounded by people who are kind, loving, respectful and nurturing. You definitely deserve more and better!
Hang in there, as Ilene said it will get better!
~hugs~
Big giant hugs