This is the first step ... and so many to follow but know that your doing the right thing for you and your child ... what he was showing you wasnt love ... but control and fear of what you CAN become on your own ... you got this!!! And your biggest fan is watch you ... and learning what a strong woman and mom looks like ... i wont say it will be easy but worth it ...

Thank you I needed that.

hang in there, you got this, step one BRAVA, cut him off w/the phone for a bit until you collect yourself... can you block him? only give one word answers, avoid the pitfalls, him crying/begging, its an act, you deserve better...guess what WE ALL LOVE THEM STILL...just cant be in the same room anymore...

Thank you! I agree that I need not to talk to him until I get myself together. Its very hard right now because I still love him. I block his number and his mother number today.

Kenyah, how did you find the strength to finally leave? I have been with my spouse for 12 years and recently the verbal/emotional abuse has gotten worse and in the past week, I have been choked twice, so am scared, but I am also scared to leave as I want the marriage to work. I have so much guilt too because after the fight(s) my spouse cries to me and tells me I've been neglectful since going back to work, but yet, my spouse accuses me of cheating which I have never done, so I just want that hope with us, but it's starting to be an everyday ordeal, except on the weekends when I am off of work. Then I feel guilty because I could survive financially and my spouse couldn't, so I think of that also. What gave you the strength?

Let me tell you it wasn't easy for me and it was plenty of times I was going to leave but didn't. One day he was saying things and kept calling his best friend and in the mist of times that I called life crisis and told them I was coming and had the police escort me out. I was packing my things at the same time. You can do it just stay strong and don't tell your family all that is happening until you are mentally ready. I am here to support you. We can support each other.

I know its hard, but it seems that the more deeply we love determines how deeply we hurt. You may have made im your best friend. A best friend that over time betrayed your love with abuse. The irst step is to leave. You will cry, a lot, but after time you will be so proud of yourself for taking these steps.. Your daughters deserve to be given te opportunity for a good example of how they can expect to be treated as wives. They deserve a happy mother as well that can put her emotional energy into raising them, loving them and being the president of their Fan club.All these things you could not do so well otherwise. Hang In there!

Thank you so much I really needed that. Its also hard when he keep calling and texting me. Today I filled for a protective order, but I am having mix emotions about it. Any suggestions?

A couple suggestions:

One is to get set up
with a qualified therapist.

The second is to take a
look at Ilene's Clarifying
Index Card exercise and
maybe give it a try. (I'll
bump it for you.) It helped
me when I first developed
it and has since helped
many others.

Third, self-care,
Self-Care,
SELF-CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing and
happiness.