Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So we had a slight argument yesterday because she feels I'm "reverting" to my old self and I'm "going to make her act like a bitch again." Like I've told the group I'm so tired of this same routine that I'll admit I haven't been as affectionate or returning her love because no matter what I do she goes back to her old ways and I have just no love left to give. Then last night when were talking my stepson got home and she says to him that "jaylion doesn't like me again" in a sort half joking tone but also serious and I just looked at her with just a disappointed, incredulous look. It never ends with her. Does this sound like just more manipulation......what was she attempting to accomplish with that!
It's all about her.
She's not taking responsibility for her acting like a bitch - instead she blames you. You can't make her do anything, let alone act like a bitch.
Putting you down in front another another person.
Involving her own son in her put down of you.
Half joking at your expense.
She is attempting to bulldoze you back into her lair.
She is attempting to be in control.
She is desperate.
She is attempting to berate you & make fun of you in order to gain your submission.
She is grasping at straws.
Abusers can sense when they are losing their 'source' and so she is pulling out all the stops. I wouldn't be surprised if it escalated even more.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
She will never change, only use different tactics.
I don't know the back story, but this is very manipulative and sneaky.
I'd say to her in private that you don't want her to attempt to lure her son into your marital issues. She'll say you are being too sensitive, but I'd start documenting all of this... and see a lawyer.
Whenever I looked too happy or free for his liking, my dad used to tell me that I was being "one of "those difficult teenagers" again." He said that because me doing what I wanted to do and being myself meant that his control of me was slipping. It was about HIM, not about me. I was fine, and so are you.
I agree that she is being abusive to her son too, by feeding him this lie (because that`s what it is) that you just don`t like her. It`s a typical, abuser pity-seeking move to paint the victim black.
People who behave like this don`t change. They may appear to change or promise it if it looks like they might lose you, but it`s fake; they are only doing it because they don`t want to lose their victim. If you give in, they WILL go back to the way they were, and worse.
Please listen to the part of you that is saying you have no love left to give. That is a sign that you need to save yourself from this woman. Nobody should drain another person this much or make them feel this bad, yet she has done it to you.
I`m sorry you are going through this.
Also, in my marriage I realized that ha-ha, jokes were always on me. If the joke is always on you, eventually you stop laughing, right?
You might have to be honest with her and just tell her that your feelings are not what they used to be, that there was just too much damage from the fighting and hurting.
I'm so sorry.