My husband is extremely selfish and a verbal abuser. Every year we go to my parent's house for Thanksgiving. It is about a 2 hour drive. The last 2 years, my husband did not go. The first year was because his father was dying and last year it was because he lost his job and a few other things - so he was "depressed" and urged me to go without him, so I did.

This year, he came, but had to work the next day, so he took a train back and I stayed with my son until Saturday. Well, that is when the manipulation started. God forbid I stayed with my family a couple of days and not come back home to "take care of him". Even though he did not put it that way, that is exactly what he meant. My mother just had back surgery and my father is also not well,. so I wanted to help them around the house and I don't feel like I should have to justify that to him. He just does not understand - he is selfish and mean.

So now. he tells me that he is not happy with me and what I did. He worked all day and was not even home. What could I have done here for him? I am so mad that he is doing this to me and trying to make me feel guilty.

I don't feel guilty and I am not going to fall into his web of self pity, but I just want to know what I should say to him. I told him not to make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with my family and that he is a grown man and can take care of himself.

Then he goes into how fat I am and whatever else he can say to try to make me feel bad. I ignore it, but it is hard to live like this. I so want to end this marriage but it is extremely difficult for me.

I want to get stronger and try to ignore his abuse. but it is getting harder and harder.

Just need some advice as to how to handle this particular situation.

Thanks