Hello Darling,
I understand and can relate to everything you have said. It sad enough that I have to go through the same thing and feel that pain, but I dont think that you should have to go through it too. So many beautiful people are abused my those who have ugly souls, and as hard as times get and as low as your self esteem may fall, know that I am preying for you, because I would never wish for anyone to have to go through what I have been throuhg, and it seems as though you have.
Sincerely, Elle

I know I have something to offer someone, I just don't remember what it is anymore. It's going to be hard when it finally happens that someone thinks I'm worth something in that way, but I'll do what I can to believe them.

It's hard, it sucks, but we can't give up on ourselves either. At the very worst we have to be open to someone that can remind us about the good things we have to offer people.

-Gil

unless he's one those guys who sucks you in the beginning with all these compliments but hes actually not all that nice at all?

Yeah I get this. My guy is wonderful, says all the right things and does all the right things without being at all fake but I cant for the hell of me work out why he likes me and though he is very loveable I have been having alot of trouble connecting with him. I spent so many years being told I was worthless and feeling unattractive coz my H cheated repeatedly and left me for someone else I too feel damaged. Sometimes I just feel no emotion at all, it is so awful!!
Something important I realised just today is that I am depressed, I dont know why it hit me but wham today it did and I think that is the root cause of a lot of my problems esp how I feel towards my boyfriend...It might be worth thinking about whether you would benefit from some form of treatment for depression. I have decided to try St Johns Wort

It's hard when you've been abused for a lengthy amount of time, to believe you are worth something. Have you tried looking into counseling to work on the abuse? You're going to need to treat that first. Your guy can treasure you all you want. If you don't believe it, you'll never FEEL treasured. Good luck with this one.

Totally... im trying to end my abusive relationship, but i just get so down on myself. i feel like i can't do it.

Know that you are a precious and wonderful soul, unique in all the world. *hugs*

You deserve to be loved. You deserve respect. You deserve to feel good about yourself and to appreciate your own beauty (inner and outer). I wish that for you.

*hugs*

(And yes, I can relate. I deal with my own self-esteem issues thanks partly to emotional abuse from my family.)

Thank you all.
Yes, I am going to talk with my counselor about it and do some writing, and maybe even tell the guy something about what is going on.

I can DEFINITELY relate...I put up with a guy for two years, and he basically completely destroyed my self esteem, the point where not even three weeks of being away from him helped me feel better about myself. But please don't be jaded! I did that and I ended up losing the guy because I couldn't get past my ex-boyfriend's words....

totally. I can relate to you because i had an amazing self esteem and then i got emotionaly abused by my step dad and it brought my self esteem lower than ever. It is going up very very slowly, but everytime im in public, im very self consious about if i look okay and stuff. And everyone calls me pretty and skinny and i just dont understand how they can say that because I'm not. and this is all because of my low self esteem. So i can relate to you fully, hunn. (:
Good luck.

I can so relate to what you are saying. I feel so bad about myself and often wonder if I'm worth anything more. I know I deserve to be happy but like elaine1980 I feel so weak and don't know if I have the confidence to walk away.

Yes, I relate... please talk to the pretty great guy and tell him a bit of what's going on, otherwise, he might wonder if something is wrong with him. At least you are smart enough to realize what is happening. I let the good ones get away because I could not relate to kindness. My sister had a large part to play in my emotional abuse. While I took care of her in her agoraphobic state, driving her everywhere she wanted to go, sitting up with her until 1:00 in the morning when her husband got off from work because she couldn't be alone; she was putting me down, talking behind my back. I even found her a husband, and then after my divorce, I asked her if they knew of anyone they could introduce me to and she said I wasn't pretty enough. My current husband who she didn't want me to meet, knew her and told me she said I was dull, boring, had no friends and no one liked me, then described me as a knuckle dragging, deaf person. Wow, I thought about that every time I met someone for the first time. She finally died of cancer but not before she turned her whole family against me. She said she lied to them so they would hate me as much as she did. Guess it worked. Give yourself some time away from your ex and before getting into another relationship, but don't give up the great guy, just let him know you need some recovery time, and then by all means stay away from the evil one. Once I met a really great guy who was younger than I and extremely good looking, then and my sister assured me he would toss me aside for someone younger in about five years. That changed my thinking towards my friend and we finally broke up. I am sorry I wasn't smarter but I was raised to think my sister was a queen and I was just a punching bag.