My now exboyfriends contact w/ me lets me know how off in his own world he is and he is so unable to consider my side/view/feelings, it's so hurtful. I am realizing how severly emotionally abused I have been and am still being. All I can do is stop contacting him (and consider removing the text msg feature from my cell phone since that is the way he contacts me). I feel so sick inside to think a person thinks of me this way. He actually said he fell in love with me and he wished it would go away because it's killing him, then he apologized for saying that and said he's trying his best to not contact me and forget about me. He instigated the whole breakup. I was willing to try, sick as I am. Anyway I guess by continuing to read his messages I'm still caught up in his world. I know detachment is a process, I'm feeling really burdened by his reality it is so warped. Whenever I try to tell him how I feel about what he's doing he refuses to acknowlege it, even saying he's done w/ this "rediculous dialog" when I share. I'm so sick of it. It is hurting so uncomfortably because this is not some random person this was my best friend/lover/ soulmate and now he is I guess using a foreign communication that is unhealthy to the point of harming me, all invisibly, emotionally, in private, secret. I've isolated from our mutual friends, thinking they prefer him (he's ultra popular, I'm reclusive and independent.) Thanks for reading my venting, it helps to come here and know probably someone will relate/understand.
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