Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My on and off again boyfriend threatens to kill me almost weekly. Im scared to leave because I don't want him to hurt himself. He has depression and anxiety and threatens to kill himself constantly. I also have depression and anxiety and its hard for me to adress my own because I have to constanty be caring about his. Our relationship has become so toxic I feel alone and I dont talk to anyone about him anymore because they have all tired to get me away from him before and I always go back. The combination of judgement and fear and not wanting to give up but desperatly wanting to let the love go has left me paralized in numbness and combletley uproductive. He has put his hands on me before but I hate feeling like he could really hurt me. Any suggestions for getting through it all? Id appreciate it.
Please, please, PLEASE................................
get yourself to a therapist
if you aren't plugged in
already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
""""""""""""I also have depression and anxiety and its hard for me to adress my own because I have to constanty be caring about his."""""""""""""""""
No. You DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is he and adult?
Than he is responsible for HIMSELF.
He is HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE.
You, also, are responsible
for your own health and
well-being.
So now it's time to
finally take care of
YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please.
PLEASE.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don't, here's
what I predict:
Your own health
will deteriorate to
such an extent that
something awful will
happen to YOU
or. . . . he'll end up
killing you. . . .
and,
lo and behold. . . . . .
he'll be continuing on,
probably with another
hostage in captivity,
torturing HER and
never actually either
getting help or taking
his own life.
Your situation is even
more dire than his.
If you want to go
on living
then it's time to
take a step towards
making that happen.
Sending you
thoughts and
prayers for
safety and
movement
towards LIFE.
My parents thought love was enough, but it wasn't.
They then stayed together for 'good reasons' but it made life hell for everyone.
No one has gotten over it, even more than 30 years later. It's even caused a breach with my one sibling even though we were very close when we were young.
My Mom and Dad needed one another, had violent fights and I still have the emotional scars to prove - and no family to show for it. It's damaged both my sister and me.
Recovery, support and therapy have helped me learn to have relationships that aren't codependent. It means I can walk away when people are mean .... because it makes them hate themselves, as well.
If you're not looking after yourself, how can you think you're able to help someone else?
Been there, maybe this helps some.
You're worth more than you realize. Supporting my partner in getting over abuse is a privilege. I get to see the confidence he has in being himself. Couldn't have done it without FIRST telling myself the SAME things I say to him ..... Big hug of support.
This isn't a good relationship for you. It offers you nothing positive.
You are not his therapist and even if you were his violence would put an end to the professional relationship.
Leaving will be good for you and possibly for him.
Don't accept violence and manipulation. You are worthy of a loving relationship.
I'm not saying leaving will be easy but it is essential.
Lots of love and good luck.