Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Lies, lies, lies. I feel like the whole relationship was based on lies. There were several things he told me that deep in my gut didn't sound right to me, but I believed him anyways, because I loved him... Actually, I'm not completely sure that always HE knows that he was lying.... He seemed kind of delusional. Here are the many things he told me that I look back on now, and I am almost positive that most of them were lies...
1. He was in a band while living in California. He sang and played guitar. He even had a song recorded that he showed me..... Nevermind that the singing sounded nothing like him. And nevermind that he never once sang or played guitar for me in person, even if I asked.
2. He wrote a book. This part is true, as he had physical proof. Not a particularly good book, in my opinion... a book of rambling poetry... I could only skim it. But supposedly he made a ton of money off of it that for a reason I cannot remember, he did not have immediate access to. (He was broke very often, usually from spending all his money on frivolous things). Someone compared his writing to Jim Morrison (lead singer of The Doors, which just so happens to be his favorite band), and it REALLY inflated his ego... I actually think he believed he was a reincarnation or something..
3. How every girl he had ever been with had cheated on him or broken his heart... he probably treated them the same way he treated me. And well, if you smell shit every where you go, you might want to check under your own shoe..
4. He was part of the Marine Corps for a while but got discharged for some reason... supposedly, he killed people. (This dude has severe asthma... I'm pretty sure that's something that would keep you out of the service to begin with.)
5. His family hated him. His Mother was constantly inviting us over for dinner, but he rarely accepted her invites because "she hated him and wanted nothing to do with him." He lived with his dad who let him live there rent free AND gave him a car to drive... but supposedly he really hated him too.
6. He denied and lied about every time he cheated on me, even when the evidence was right in front of me. Over time, if the subject of his cheating came up, he would try to change the context of the incriminating text messages I had found, trying to make me seem unreasonable. I don't think there are too many ways to misunderstand a text sent to his ex reading "I love you, when are you coming back to me?"
1. He was in a band while living in California. He sang and played guitar. He even had a song recorded that he showed me..... Nevermind that the singing sounded nothing like him. And nevermind that he never once sang or played guitar for me in person, even if I asked.
2. He wrote a book. This part is true, as he had physical proof. Not a particularly good book, in my opinion... a book of rambling poetry... I could only skim it. But supposedly he made a ton of money off of it that for a reason I cannot remember, he did not have immediate access to. (He was broke very often, usually from spending all his money on frivolous things). Someone compared his writing to Jim Morrison (lead singer of The Doors, which just so happens to be his favorite band), and it REALLY inflated his ego... I actually think he believed he was a reincarnation or something..
3. How every girl he had ever been with had cheated on him or broken his heart... he probably treated them the same way he treated me. And well, if you smell shit every where you go, you might want to check under your own shoe..
4. He was part of the Marine Corps for a while but got discharged for some reason... supposedly, he killed people. (This dude has severe asthma... I'm pretty sure that's something that would keep you out of the service to begin with.)
5. His family hated him. His Mother was constantly inviting us over for dinner, but he rarely accepted her invites because "she hated him and wanted nothing to do with him." He lived with his dad who let him live there rent free AND gave him a car to drive... but supposedly he really hated him too.
6. He denied and lied about every time he cheated on me, even when the evidence was right in front of me. Over time, if the subject of his cheating came up, he would try to change the context of the incriminating text messages I had found, trying to make me seem unreasonable. I don't think there are too many ways to misunderstand a text sent to his ex reading "I love you, when are you coming back to me?"
No one deserves that type of maltreatment
I sometimes wonder if my ex lied so bad that he eventually convinced himself it was true, but he still couldn't fill the holes in his stories, and it blew my mind that he still kept telling them.
And oh yes, trying to make you seem unreasonable when you catch them out. I found an email when I was about 7 months pregnant, which he'd written to some woman I knew nothing about. The email said "I won't be around much today because I'm busy tying up the loose ends of my life here, so that we can be together forever" (what he was actually doing that day was going shopping with me for baby furniture). When confronted, he told me that I had taken that "out of context" and that I was a total idiot for thinking there was anything going on. Oddly, however, he couldn't give me a possible context in which that message was ok.
Pathological lairs are the most infuriating thing EVER. I've know people who have told the most outrageous, transparent lies (like your ex did), and when you counter the lie with evidence of the actual truth, they will just lie again to counter your evidence, and no matter how many times you do this they will just lie on top of the last lie, becoming even more ridiculous as the conversation goes on. But it doesn't matter how stupid the lies are, or even how crystal clear it is you don't believe them. When you finally just stop questioning they feel as if they've "won." Won what, I've never been sure since THEY know that YOU know they were lying.